Out of sight out of mind

ImageAfter a bit of hiatus my husband and I have come to what I think is a generous agreement in regards to our sexual habits. Now let me say first that my husband has always been and remains my biggest desire, I wish I could have sex with him all the time, when we do have sex together or with others it is the best and I am very fortunate to have him as my partner. My fantasies include my husband so this new arrangement will be a bit of a left turn for me.

Be it age or other lifestyle factors my husband who is twenty years my senior on average has sex once a week. I am not ever one to force Viagra as an option, his cock works fine, and after a long negotiation process we decided that before resentment sets in – he will come to resent me asking/blaming him for lack of and I would come to resent him for not having it enough and being denied – I am being given the opportunity to be with other men sexually. He would prefer not in our house, but it is also my safe haven, so my rules are with the promise that sex will never take place in our marriage bed. He does not want details, does not want to know anything, so any meetings will be when he is out of residence.

Everything aside, I must say that any man that can put his feelings aside and still love the liberated sexual woman he married, to allow her and for his part try to be a part of this arrangement, he is brave beyond words. My husband and I have involved others in our sex lives before, but we must be honest and say that often the imagination can be more harmful than reality. He has taken himself out of some of my sexual activities and trusting me, us, and that is really big.

I have decided to document this endeavor and my meetings here in my blog, which my husband does not read but knows exists, because I think that sex has and remains a big issue in most marriages. I was poly in my previous relationship and this being my first monogamous one has solidified my opinions as to why monogamy is not right for everyone. It is not right for me.

So out of sight out of mind; and I would be lying if I said I was not a bit nervous. I have always shared some aspect of my other relationship with my partners. I hate that I am good at keeping a secret and disappointed that I will take full advantage of this offer to benefit myself first and foremost and my marriage secondly.

Next I will outline what I hope to find, what I am willing to compromise on, what I am unwilling to compromise and where I intend to seek out a sexual partner.

I am of course aroused at the possibilities but then I am always aroused.

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