Rules of engagement: Safe sex

I have always been good with self-discipline when it comes to rules: I usually make them for me, with others in mind, and have a good record of positive experiences for all involved. No regret is something I always aspire to achieve. As a married women who is about to take in a lover it still involves my husband though he is not physically present, so obviously rule number one is safe sex. I am all about safe sex anyhow but personally feel that ‘cheating’ or having a lover without protection is putting not only your life at risk but that of your ‘missing’ partner and or children not to mention the person you are fucking. I am not cheating so obviously I might be putting more long term thoughts into this than someone that is but most affairs are done out of convenience and unplanned. I am planning on keeping my lover around for a while.  I like having sex but I am not willing to stop having it because I caught something or worse die from it. I think a cock is still a beautiful thing wrapped up!

The CDC recommends that baby boomers go and be tested for HepC  as 1 in 30 have Hep C and probably do not know it because they do not perceive themselves to be sick or at risk. For someone like me that enjoys the company of older men it would be terribly irresponsible to not take precautions for my own sake and that of my ‘baby boomer’ husband (who has been tested negative).  Interestingly enough this is also the age range of a lot of swingers around the US that I have met, though I do not think we should be policing what people do behind doors, I cannot help but feel this is the aging population that is responsible for also creating the following generation with a false sense of security: STDs can be treated or cured, I will just take a pill, condoms don’t feel good or worse ‘who doesn’t have it’.

I have never had a Sexually Transmitted Infection nor have I ever had a yeast infection, so I tend to be less than empathetic to those with a history of STI’s because it just exposes an arrogance I do not find attractive – everything you needed to be safe is readily accessible and easy to carry with you – though I can be somewhat understanding in cases of cheating partners contracting something unknowingly and victims of sexual assault, I rarely if ever get involved sexually with someone that has a history with STIs. I know this is me being a snob or somehow judgmental but it has kept me safe. I value my body, very much my pussy, and I like to do my best to keep it all in tip top shape. I appreciate the honesty from my sexual partners when they trust me with their sexual history, knowing it could turn me off, it is one of the first conversations I have with guys, and even it was a one night stand I bring my own condoms. In my head there just seems to be no excuse for not having safe sex.

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Unfortunately women and men my age are facing facts they have not had to previously take into account. I was young when AIDS came out with a powerful add campaign and it freaked me out! I witnessed my parents ‘free love’ generation ponder their own history of sexual liberty and the costs. My generation is coming to terms with Human Papilloma Virus or HPV and at first you would think again ‘everyone has it’ or it doesn’t present much of a danger because I practice safe sex but it is linked to throat cancers and the last time I checked not too many of us were giving out blow jobs with rubbers on. Do not get me started on the fact that it is transmitted from man to woman but yet we are without a way to test or treat men: young sexually inactive girls are given an option of inoculation but that does nothing for us already sexually active women.

Safe sex doesn’t have to impede the pleasure of sex, sure skin on skin is the ultimate dip in moist holes but I just can’t weigh my life against a good fuck, my life will always mean more to me. This is why I am a firm believer in lubrication – I am rather convinced that men and women who bitch about sex with a condom on as a burden are just unimaginative.  Lube inside the condom and outside helps both partners enjoy the sensation, and from experience I know condoms can leave things feeling a bit dry. Lubrication has a purpose it is what makes natural bare sex pleasurable and it is why I do not go anywhere without it! If anyone was foolish enough to think that sex with a condom was supposed to feel like the real thing I would argue that safe sex with a condom feels pretty fucking real to me: feeling safe with my sexual partners allows me to experiment and enjoy the act guilt or worry free and leads to more enjoyable sexual encounters.

The safety girls will of course have to deal with the fact that semen deposits, bareback sex and the risk involved are now a new taboo and some people will always be strongly attracted to off limits or more dangerous activities. Do not get me wrong I love the feeling of my husband’s cum inside me, the warmth, and the extra orgasm I experience after he has cum but in a strange way having safe sex with others means my husband gets to keep something for himself. I am after his as he is mine and I think he deserves to have that male sense of ownership over my pussy. I do not think my man should have to slosh through the other guy that was there  earlier nor would I want my lover too – though I do have a fantasy of someone fucking me right after my husband has cum inside me it doesn’t mean I have to do it. I am not the sort to let my lover go down on me after my husband came inside me because I am not into licking up slopping residue either. I know people are into bareback sex with strangers and again it is not something I would regulate for others but only do so for myself, but I am confident whomever I am with will appreciate and understand this and doing so will make him a great match for me and what I am hoping to achieve: sexual gratification without complication.

A cock is still beautiful when wrapped. I do keep flavoured condoms for oral, I enjoy teasing and making a game of it putting them on with my mouth or making a point of being rushed because I can hardly wait to have his cock in my mouth. I like unwrapping it slowly with my mouth or fingers, urgently or playfully: it’s about mood. I will sometimes use my own spit, in my hand or slowly open my mouth to drool on the cock so that he can somewhat get the warm spit and feeling before being sheathed. Again adding a bit of lube inside the condom reservoir helps! However I do not have any latex flavoured sheaths (dental dams) on hand and will have to rectify that right away. It would be duplicitous of me not too because the pussy is just as infectious as the cock though I can boast of a STI free history he should be presented with the option but I will admit that using a sheath is not a rule. I will have to look into that more in the near future because documenting this is after all for my own posterity.

As for condoms, one is better than none, but I tend to lean towards lightly lubricated WITHOUT SPERMICIDE and will post a second entry as to why. Since I add my own lubrication inside and outside of the condom I tend to keep several on hand: silicone, water based, warming and none warming that as well will be a separate entry.

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