I think we have all learned by now that the internet has not made anything easier. Certainly it has made watching porn easier but in my experience it has done just as much to complicate things. You find great people who live in another country you will never move too or meet. When you manage to read through a profile here and there or chat a bit all the things in common pales to the reality that most people are just fucking around online. It sometimes feels as though getting people to leave the comfort of their homes and actually meeting is harder than pulling teeth and preforming a lobotomy at the same time.
So where is a married woman to go? I am not looking for love, marriage or a boyfriend.
At work, church, husband’s friend or family: NEVER.
Adultfriendfinder: a very popular site offered to you by Various Inc. They have been around for some time buying up smaller sites and building their own monopoly. I had a profile on ALT.com for over 15 years because I thought it was important to keep a positive and sane representation of kink in my community but then it went global. The introduction of cams, chat and blogs were great because people got to see other actual human beings but the downside was every guy wanted to see your tits and jerk off for you on cam.
Do not get me wrong, if your wife/husband and kids are sleeping up stairs and you want to connect with someone for a virtual moment, go too my friend, and jerk off online all you want! It is not for me, so sifting through the virtual pervs for someone that was actually interested in being perverted with me was a lot of work but be prepared for 90% of the people to be full of shit. It is not just this site but the internet in general that is going to be filled with people who are looking for a little sumpin’ sumpin’ on the side, even if that isn’t your thing, its on you to deal with it – seriously there is no policing other people or the internet, only yourself.
The goods are a free profile. You do get to chat and you can use a cam, so you can see what you are meeting beforehand. You can keep a blog for free as well which is a great way to sell yourself or dare I say ‘explain’ yourself and or your situation. You can post pictures or don’t, it doesn’t really matter. The down side is Various Inc is notorious with bugs when they upgrade something in the matrix so be prepared to give people the benefit of the doubt: there is a chance they couldn’t log on. Another downside is you cannot read profiles as a standard member, but post your profile in a blog entry and it will be fine. You cannot email people and sometimes cannot respond: again they make it hard to get connected to people without upgrading but it is a business, to circumvent this create a blog entry that you keep comments private that will allow others to leave you a message.
My husband and I had a profile on AFF for many years, we host parties and do not mind swingers or single guys for threesomes, but I can tell you as a woman that is now looking for her own second cock hound it is not my choice place to go. Too much time spent on there for little return.
Craigslist: now I have posted adds on CL and gotten way more straightforward guys writing. Easier to keep the emails addresses you get so that the next posting you know exactly who is who, regardless of picture, and some quick notes will remind you why they weren’t viable the first time around. Of course I am in a small town, so I am bound to get the same 10 guys that are always on CL willing to fuck anything with a warm hole including other men, but it’s quicker than the 100 hours of random chat people on AFF. The best part is, they are local! So far I have had a good experience with CL but that might be because of my attitude. The only con is again they are local so you have to be prepared that the local pastor is writing you sending his cockshot and you just sent him a picture of your tits.
Yahoo chat: if i was a professional cam whore this might work. If was into cyber sex it might work too but I am too old for the confusion of a public chat room. I tried it twice and didnt like it, so it might be worth you trying. The downside was no local rooms and you can not create your own. You do have to sit in a chat room filled with a bunch of people trying to play DJ and some that clearly forgot their meds. Funny in a sad ha ha way but not a place I would go to pick up.
The bar: The bar was okay when I was 15 and into getting into trouble. This is low key for me but not necessarily a secret. One night stands have their own appeal but not my choice spot to find someone I want to involve in my life and what I am trying to achieve. Going out and having fun is just that and I know the guy I’m looking for isnt at the local University dollar shooter night.
Good old fashion handshakes: my personal favourite. I am a flirt, my husband is a flirt and he laughs and shits himself when I flirt with other guys. Now if I run into a guy weekly on my routine shopping adventures, it is going to be safe to say I’ve tried to make him blush. You get to know people when you see them often enough, single, married, looking and dare I say sometimes the flirting is sexual. Now I do not encourage anyone to befriend me in front of my man, but my man certainly has on a few occasions offered up the option. Believe it or not it is actually really easy to say ‘wow youre going to the local game too, give me your email or number and maybe we should all head out of a beer afterwards’.
My biggest complaint for mature men online has always been ‘how did you meet women before the internet’ the same fucking rules apply online. Younger guys, I don’t have much against them, but I am more forgiving if they are socially awkward. If you see danger wherever you go, doesn’t matter if it’s the internet or not, no one is crazier online than they are offline: they are either crazy or aren’t.
So I am going to work up a simple little thing to send out into the virtual universe and I am going to carry with me a few little pieces of paper with my contact information so I have it at the ready should I meet that great guy at the butcher shop. This is about meeting someone to fuck, not chatting to someone to jerk off by myself at the computer.
*picture from internet source xhamster.