More than one man on the mind and in my bed




For people who do not keep, or rather have, more than one sexual partner it is natural to be curious about how it all works out. I always tell people that I can only do what I know to be best for me, my husband next and then my lovers, what works for us might not work for anyone else but that is one of the best parts of living where we do. I do not believe in telling other adults what to do.

When my husband is home with me we are together. I am not sitting with him thinking of someone else nor am I wishing I was anywhere else. My husband comes first in my desires and lovers add to this in different aspects. My husband I talk about anything and everything, PC does come up because they have met each other and have a bond through life experiences. My husband has not met SML and I don’t intend they ever do, though SML is not a secret, the distinction is important.

Yes, I guess you could say that PC is elevated over SML and that would be a fair assessment in that PC is more involved than SML. I do not have a clear idea of how PC deals with this, it is certainly not done to simply flatter him though it could be taken as such, but PC certainly puts in the effort for such accolades. PC has however made it clear from the beginning that he would never have come over he had not talked to my husband first and I can appreciate that: I am not nor do I intend to mislead anyone.

Do I fantasize of my husband, PC and SML? Certainly! I am a woman that has desires, and each person presents with me with different options and fulfillment. My husband first and foremost, working with me and this arrangement deserves my admiration and respect, not just anyone could and he is a serial monogamist by nature.  I am extremely attracted to him sexually and he is a pleasing lover, we are affectionate with each other and I wish to fuck him all the time. My husband has not talked about the ‘other guy’ thing with me, he is not cuckhold – these men are not fucking me while he watches- but it is unclear if he finds some sexual excitement from knowing I have been with someone else. Some men do like this, it would not bother me if it did turn him on, but my husband does not ask me for details nor do I offer them. It is not a source of dirty talk for us – once when PC was asleep on the couch my husband did of course take advantage of mentioning the fact I had to be ‘quiet’ and we played with the idea that PC could hear us or walk in. That however was the only time.

PC has not joined my husband and me for a threesome. None of us are against it, it has been lightly discussed but I think the opportunity has to be right and getting everyone together can be difficult. My fantasies about PC are natural and I do not feel bad for having them. Certainly we two want to experience certain things together – we are both dominant sexual personalities – and us being ‘alone’ together was one of our first serious sexual discussions.  We are very open and playful with sexual banter and given the comfort level with one another, for my part, he can drift in and out of thought and does not feel off limits to me.

SML does not enter my mind in a sexual way though I am sexual with him. It is not because he is a bad lover or someone that could be overlooked but our arrangement is strictly sexual so he doesn’t come to mind or inspire desire. Of course we talk about things together, he wants to try certain sexual things, and we can be playful about our last encounters but I am not calling him up just to talk or go out.

Having lovers means my body goes through some sexual use. I have always worn protection with a sexual partner till it got more serious. This can seem extreme to some people but I have never had any sort of infection, disease, let alone a sniffle down there and I value me above all others: my cunt is worth more to me than a cock. Of course my husband does not wear protection when we fuck and I wouldn’t ask him to! So what do I do if I have had sex on Monday and come Tuesday I have a date with someone else? Well it is just common sense; I would NOT let another man go down on me after my husband had finished having his way with me, which would just be rude. So it stands to reason that no one else comes inside my body as my husband should not be denied access to anything ever.

I have an over sensitive gag reflex so I have only ever swallowed come once and it was my husbands. I would not swallow another mans load, even if I could. Unlike a lot of other people out there my brain works like this: if I would suck his cock without protection why would I make him wrap it to fuck me? So yes, I am one of those girls that wraps up strange cock for oral sex: not only are there Sexually transmitted diseases but HPV is linked to the increase of mouth, tongue and throat cancers. I love to fuck, I want to keep fucking, but I am not willing to die from it. Of course I never greet anyone with cock breath; again, it is just about being polite and aware. I have a date with PC coming up and will not be meeting with SML during this time, but my husband has full access.

Going without protection with a lover is something I feel would be a natural progression with a long term and more involved lover. The more you know someone, know about them, it seems reasonable to want this but of course who gets a say? I would have the discussion with my husband if it came to that point with a lover. Now given my lovers are single men I have no right to assume or demand they change their sexual activities for me – if they use condoms or not. This is what makes me hesitant: I grew up with AIDS and not everyone had the early education and scary posters around. When you sleep with someone you sleep with everyone that person has slept with, so on and so on, and that really stuck in my head at a young age.

In my house I expect my lovers to reserve a certain amount of respect for my husband. I cannot force them to do this, but I can certainly be the example. He is not spoken of with any negative connotations and they should not assume this is happening because he is ‘less’ of a man in some way. No other man fucks me in my marital bed. My husband should never have to come home to another man’s cologne on me let alone on his pillow. Yes we have had threesomes in our bed and there have been jokes from my husband about PC having to move over in the morning but for me it’s not a place I have ever invited other men. This is not my first time but it is my husband’s first time in this sort of arrangement, so risk assessment is important for me because I do not want to fuck up a good thing.

I wish I could say it is easy because I am able to compartmentalize but that is how I manage to deal. They are 3 very different men and there is rarely any blurry lines because I am disciplined and do not compromise. I love my husband, I like PC and I get along sexually with SML, it actually is as simple as that for me.





One comment on “More than one man on the mind and in my bed

  1. kdaddy23 says:

    My poly relationship was ‘complicated’; I had the wife and “poly wife #1” living with me and “poly wife #2” living a short distance away and dealing with them on a daily basis was fun… but also a pain in the ass. The hard part wasn’t making love with any of them – it was keeping their personalities, wants, and needs all straight in my head every single moment.

    People would ask me how I did it and my answer always was, “I just do – but it’s not easy.” They’d ask how they could do something similar and I’d tell them, “Don’t – it’s a huge emotional strain and this is something not everyone can do… and make it work.”

    I’ve always said that it takes some very special – or crazy – people to have this kind of relationship.

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