Him: who the fuck did you kill in the shower?
Moi: Oh no one today. I perfected my blood recipe.
Him: You know most wives’ bake cookies. I like cookies. I like cake.
Moi: REDBUM *in my best Danny Torrance voice* REDBUM
Him: Jesus Mouse, there is something seriously wrong with you.
Now I have to go and watch something happy before bed.
Moi: or you could bake yourself some cookies.