Till I got married, I never owned a personal vibrator or dildo. I won’t write on how it made me feel to go and buy my first one, oh don’t get me wrong I worked in adult stores, I am not shy when it comes to sex, but having gone thirty five years without one and now…yeah, I wasn’t too happy (78% of married American women have one or more personal vibrators).
I do not enjoy masturbation. I have done it. I enjoy doing it with someone, as a part of foreplay or have someone watch, but if I am here alone the last thing I want to reach for is the silicone cock – it feels silly, though it’s normal to masturbate, when I do do it, I usually end up using my how hand. However it is pretty rare that I do.
My husband thinks it’s a throw back from being raised Roman Catholic – I really didn’t think god was going to punish me for doing that, compared to other things I was guilty of but I am certainly about the ritual and treating my pussy as a holy relic – even the name Pyx.
I have orgasms all the time, on my walk, sitting reading, depends on my mood and the stimulation I am under. At some point in my youth, after I became sexually active, I enjoyed denying myself that easy orgasm – choosing to wait till I had sex again. Maybe this led to a lot of sex, I don’t know, but even now I think to myself ‘there are millions of lonely people out there, all trying to touch someone else, why would I not find myself someone else to be with’ I always did want my lovers to feel special, chosen, and given something not many others have.
My girlfriend K was all out of breath one day over twenty some odd orgasm she gave herself, I guess that is impressive, seem like I could have been doing something else with my time if that were me – but I never got it anyway so I don’t try to force it. I would rather share my body fluids with someone, I value my whole body, even the fluids and I sort of dislike the idea they go to waste. I had to tell her that half way through trying my new vibrator I turned it off after 15 minutes and instead went to clean my floors. She thinks I am doing it wrong.
The only time I have a compulsion to masturbate is right after my husband comes inside me, I like to reach down and feel what I am feeling. The warmth, moisture and swollen pussy of course add to an easy orgasm, and I can be vulgar enough to enjoy the sticky fingers… that night PC brought me home I waited purposely to shower so that I could enjoy sliding my fingers deep inside myself, where he was just hours before, and the scent of him still on my body and the taste of him mixed with mine…