To the most reverent Holy See,
As my virtual bible came to life this morning, I thought my friends were playing with me in their announcement that you have chosen to resign as head of the Catholic Church, leaving the Chair of Saint Peter’s for reasons of health. I was shocked to find this rumour true what possible earthly inflictions could keep a man from his devoutly chosen path by God himself!?
I, being a recovering Roman Catholic of faith, am not without the virtus compassion in which I was raised, a founding principle of the Church but my mind instead chose to wander to my own discomfort, the torture I felt and pain it was watching my Holy Father Pope Jon Paul II and his aged illnesses while in this very role. He was unable to kiss the ground when he landed, they instead brought soil to his lips, he served mass with two canes, and often the grumbles as he sat could be heard echoing off the marble palace that is the Vatican. I remember feeling conflicted about wanting this man to die, to be out of his misery, because it was making me miserable to witness it.
He died, slowly, painfully in his role as Head of the Church ex cathedra, and I am asking why you are not able to continue this calling to its end, which is your end. My husband who is most cynical believes that a secret society of The Templars might have forced your hand, they along with the Jesuits have something over you that demands your silent departure to never be heard of again. Are you afforded such luxuries? I am certainly not the God you must meet and explain yourself too I am but a humble imperfect human being, as you now are.
I suppose this is where my faith so long ago removed itself from being divine: that you, all men, priests, and God himself is not perfect and is not infallible. Would god have chosen such a man, to lead his earthly followers, knowing that he would abandon them? That before the church your own wellbeing comes first and I regret my tone here but were you not 80 when you took the job? Did Jesus get to say ‘Oh sorry, I have changed my mind?’ You had some big saintly shoes to fill to be sure, but since when is age and all its downsides a reason to not do the job: look at those that were before you!
Certainly there is more to this than I am aware, I supposed I could say that I would not want a Pope who suffers from dementia in office, though it would make for some enjoyable Old Testament sermons, I mistakenly took your role, the church as a whole, word, ritual, buildings and garments are a representation of the greatness that is Catholicism. I am disappointed, as I was when I was 15, I have lost my faith in lost faith, but resolved to find a good in everything – if it turns out God does exist and you made it through the pearly gates, I too will make it, for this must be worth an eternity in purgatory.
In closing I will say that I read your letters and opinions before you were anointed el pappas, I wanted you to be Pope, I valued that methodical German sensibility and what it could bring to the church but this is just a bad example to justify why it is religion as a whole is messed up and often leaves us to seek out a mosaic of spirituality that suits us individually – this thing, this church, is not about you or me, it was something larger, a whole and I am along with many others this morning disenchanted.
Tonight you will be reduced to comedy fodder, as will the church, but I do with all sincerity hope you are feeling better.