The request wasn’t offensive, my husband does not expect me to entertain him like a pro, we are not about to install a pole in the middle of the room, he simply wants to see what he has… the glorious pervert that he is takes pride in my moments of weakness! I do not lack confidence, I write the way I way talk, Victorian commas and all, but I am not a stripper – wouldn’t you rather go to the strip club? I enjoy going to a strip club?!
No, I want you to strip for me.
Natural for a man that desires a woman to want and watch her undress, more so have her do something she has never done before for him. I don’t know if I was feeling shy or silly, maybe both? But I couldn’t do it. I am not the sort of girl that likes to be caught off guard and disappoint my lovers. Oh I have many a talent in my repertoire – he told me the hottest thing he has ever witnessed in his life was when I did a private cam show for the troops in Iraq dubbed ‘the bag show’. I put on a Glad garbage bag, kept myself naked underneath, and for an hour slowly, methodically, cut away small pieces of the bag till there was nothing left. My humanitarian nature is not pro military but pro sacrifice, I sent the pieces of the bag to Iraq with cookies.
Burlesque I can do – its creative, artistic and one of my talents is sewing so I get to express myself that way as well but it feels less vulnerable than naked: and that is a big part of what he wants. The art of teasing a crowd or individual is a personal pleasure, not easy to do, and often done without effort because men are glorious when they admire the subtle things about a woman but a full on lap dance, getting naked, moving around the room stripping… yeah, vulnerable.
So 2 weeks ago I began to practice. This is my weakness, before I do almost anything I need to feel I know what I am doing: the academic in me. I don’t want to have a red wine induced swaying type of dance where I might feel sexy but what is actually taking place isn’t, nor do I want to break an ankle in my heels; I want him to remember it on his death bed!
Remember that time in Montreal, it isn’t actually dancing, but that stripper did give a great show and one hell of a lap dance. Make it about yourself,
don’t try to be something you aren’t, and have fun – he is not grading you or going to point out a misstep, he doesn’t want to watch a stripper – Pyx you can do this, stop thinking about it so hard and just do it!
Around here at the Chateau, it is not that we aren’t romantic, it is just our version of it is different than most. My husband will cut me some wood for my fireplace and offer it to me as another man would offer roses to a woman; he will sit through Russian or German cinema and not bitch too much. He ‘kills the mammoth’ and cares for me, I want for nothing, as our romance is not footed in the possession of things but rather what we do with and for one another.
When we were apart I used to make videos for him, he had something to watch while I was away. I used to do the cam thing with him when I was back in Canada, being a supportive vet he would invite others to sit in, so I don’t mind a crowd – I like that he enjoys showing me off and we are just that playful with each other and other people. I still take pictures for him, and this is just a live version of that (or so I am telling myself) I just want it to be good. Maybe I am more nervous because it is so private? How strange is that…
This Valentine’s Day I am going to make up for a request, 4 years ago, to strip for him with the added bonus of something I like to call the Pyx touch: strip, masturbate, lap dance with a bit of hand job/head. I have my three songs picked out, I know them by heart and I will even let him set up the camera on the tripod I got for xmas if he wants. I could not come up with anything he would want more, than to see that I am still a bit nervous, with my horrible nature to blush, but want to do something just for him – which he wants – and the whole thing is rather sexy so I too will get pleasure from it.
Now I just have to make sure the weasels are in the cage before I start: nothing more apt for a blooper reel on youtube than a woman trying to strip but instead falls over her pet ferrets who have a hate on for leather heels.