Pyx answers her mail: rape fantasy

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Q: Why does it seem a lot of women have rape fantasies?

A: Because it just seems that way, we actually do not want to be raped, but I would argue that it is perfectly natural to fantasize and be a bit aroused about the things that scare us: because when it’s a fantasy we are in control. Rape is not the actual fantasy, the element of sex being forced on us by someone, and having them execute powerful control over of us, is a part of it but the ‘who’ in such deliberate scenarios is usually the driving force. Words are pretty powerful, I imagine the first time a man hears a woman ask him to violate her it must be a tangled mess of ‘this is so wrong but I am so turned on’ or not…

It might appear common for women to think of such taboo things in the context of finding a willing partner they trust to act out this fantasy, because again no one wants to be raped. I believe it is equally as hard to find a man that can pull it off with all his social conditioning and go against what is in his protective nature – not mention rape is a crime – this also being a driving force behind the fantasy: he loves me and would never hurt me but I want him too. I do not believe for a moment that the number of women who would respond to an anonymous ad on CL , let alone one for a rape fantasy, would be that high and the violation of rape is why a lot of women are not so casual with anonymous sex. Women, to me, appear to be far too selective when it comes to the man we would trust with such things, though I am certain a few might be more extreme with their sexuality, a woman is most often than not very cautious about the dates she goes out with for this very reason: she does not want to be raped.

I wish we could all come up with a new label for this fantasy, it is not rape but calling it that is also a part of the fantasy – but I am not one to urge people to censor themselves when they write about such things or dictate how they should think, passion should know no limits between consenting people: but let us take special care to separate fiction from reality, women do not want to be raped.

I have an entry I will post at a later date for you with stats if you are interested but till then I hope this answered your question, thank you for writing.

Pyx

6 comments on “Pyx answers her mail: rape fantasy

  1. The Hook says:

    You’re my new hero, Pyx!
    Thank you for shining some much-needed light on this usually taboo subject.

    • Pyx says:

      I have met several men that will not touch this fantasy with a ten foot pole, gloves, and someone else’s cock – but some of the ladies want it… im not surprised, I have heard and seen far more bizarre things in my time.

  2. Average Guy says:

    Rape is a very strong word and does not (typically) accurately describe the fantasy that is associated with a “rape fantasy”. Would not a “Ravaging fantasy” be a more realistic label?
    My wife called her idea of a rape fantasy, “consensual non-consent”

    • Pyx says:

      Rape is a strong word – but it is used because it is a strong word and has a very clear definition. I am not sure but you must have seen these types of ‘fantasy’ postings around, hell even porn uses the word rape in the tittle…

      I don’t even know what I would call it, because I dont have this particular fantasy, but I like your wifes approach… most of the time it is talked about, set up in some way – consent – but i still think it is more about the forceful male dynamic and the fantasy of removing a woman’s free will.the struggle…

      I cant make them stop calling it a rape fantasy but I understand why some people might be alarmed.

  3. I have “rape fantasies” but they never involve brutality. It’s more of a “forced pleasure” fantasy than a fantasy of some guy I’m not attracted to harming me. So way different really. Now I have been raped for real and once at gunpoint, which was so terrifying that I actually blocked most of it out. There was nothing sexy about that at all. I’m not traumatized really but it was a bad experience. Thankfully he didn’t actually do anything rough and painful, though he did make me give him head at gunpoint and also forced sex. Funny thing is he was a college basketball player and I was in high school and thought he was super cool before that and would have slept with him without the gun, but that made it a rape.

    That is not the only time I have been raped and once was by someone I couldn’t even see very well because it was dark and I don’t know for sure who it was but have some ideas. In any case, I had a boyfriend that I had just slept with and I was already naked when this guy walked into the room after he left (there were a lot of people in the house). THAT scenario was totally different and more like what I fantasize about happening. I wouldn’t recommend anyone do that kind of thing for real but in my situation it played out in a fantasy way and was actually hot even though I said no and tried to push him off me and even bit him and cried afterwards. So yeah, I know its not PC to admit but in that case it WAS hot, even if I was upset about it.

    I won’t even get into the gang rape scenario but some people might question it because I agreed to the first guy and after the second one forced himself on me I was too afraid to say no to the rest. That and I still slept with them later and it happened not once, but twice with the same guys. Granted I was very young and some of them were over 21 and I was very intimidated. That is one thing I do NOT fantasize about and it was more traumatizing but there are all kinds of women out there who apparently love the gang rape fantasy and some live it out in the swinger/bdsm scenes.

    So yeah, a fantasy is almost always different to the person having it than those who might try to impose it on them. So someone saying they have rape fantasies are not saying they want you to just rape them however or they want really raped. Almost guaranteed your idea and theirs is way different which is why that kind of play needs talked about and planned pretty specifically first.

    • Pyx says:

      Forced pleasure – see I think we can all admit that the word rape just doesnt fit the fantasy profile but we often hear it used… and yes you are right the whole thing is often played out in a bdsm/swingers context. I think when it comes to sex fantasy knows no bounds but reality however…
      Now I know you are not looking for me to tell you I am sorry to hear you were violated sexually (and I am), but wanted to thank you for sharing your experience because there is a difference and though it might not be PC, around here, what you say is acceptable regardless – I found your response to be very powerful in fact. Thank you.

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