Q: does your husband have a lady friend?
A: no he does not. My ex of 14 years had female lovers but my husband is not poly, he thinks that a man who would care to be involved with more than one woman is seriously insane. Because this arrangement is not just a sexual one, there is some relationship type stuff going on, he has shown no interest in having another woman to himself. Speaking for him he is more likely to include a woman for the evening than long term, unlike me that prefers a longer term secondary arrangement.
Now if he came to me and said he wanted to try it, I would be open to it – it is how I am and have been with my partners. I am not threatened by other women, I trust my partners to make the terms clear to others and deal accordingly, that does not mean the other woman always follows but again I am more concerned about how my partner copes. I would rather be involved than have someone keep secrets and by involved I mean aware. I think my experience would be a great resource and support to my husband if he wanted to try!
My husband has really firm opinions on people who cheat – we have never involved them in our sex lives, he has never cheated, and he does not abide cheaters. I have been with married men in the past but this compromise is important for our arrangement to work: I no longer see married men. I know he would never become involved with a married woman, so the number of single woman willing to be a part of this arrangement would affect his outcome: slim chance indeed.
My only real concern would be: do not fuck people from work. My ex was notorious for that, fucking students, but where was he going to meet other women? My husband works with nurses … enough said.
Again speaking for my partner and the last time I checked in with him, he is very satisfied with the way things are, I know in the past (when we started dating) he felt my poly tendencies were just another form of ‘fucking whatever whenever you want’ and in a way cheating, so I think he has come very far on this but when I last asked him if he had any interest in finding a companion for himself his exact words were “are you fucking crazy”