Q: We want to host an orgy, several of us swinger couples to get together, any tips?
A: Actually Nina Hartley has a great video series and one of them is how to host an orgy. For myself I had put aside the movie type fantasy of orgies (fuck you Spartacus series) and tend to look at the people I am going to invite. They might all be swingers in this scenario but that doesn’t mean they will all be down to fuck each other. Sex, even when done in public or in a group setting, is still very much an intimate thing – that’s what makes it so enjoyable- but you now become the lube for their sexual experience!
Your house your rules, keep them simple and to the point and stick to them: ensure everyone knows them beforehand. You decide how big you want this thing or how small. I don’t think it’s the amount of money we spend that makes a difference but you certainly do want some sort of an impression to be made. I used to send everyone home with a gift bag: some lube packets, cock rings, body paint, clip on nipple rings – small fun stuff. I kept it to finger foods, nothing too extravagant or that would cause bloating/gas.
Take into account your living arrangements: house, apartment, neighbours, kids and pets. I removed all pets for their own safety of not having to deal with getting stepped on. I keep all sex indoors, smoking outside; they must bring a robe or something for that. I make the kitchen a no sex room so there is at least one in house where people can relax, and I don’t want people fucking around my food so… little things like that I plan for.
I did change out my shower curtain once to a clear one, so that if someone was in the one bathroom that too could be entertaining, but in my house here I only have one bathroom so I have not made that room as playful.
Of course I encourage people to come with certain accessories but I prepare for lack of: packets of lube, condoms, cock rings ect. Lots of towels and wash clothes, I did cover my furniture beforehand but we have sex machines and furniture here so I liked providing people with their own towel to sit on, take around with them for the night. I do put a cover over the bed so that no body fluids get all over MY stuff.
Once you start to really think about it, you will find a million little things that come up – but all those little things ensure a success. You get the house ready before the party so that you aren’t running around having to work during the event and there is freedom of knowing things are taken care of – so less worry on your part.
I have rules about drinking and driving, so smaller numbers I can accommodate overnight but I try to ensure a taxi number is by the phone on a post it note so everyone can get home okay. Often they arrived by taxi or with a designated driver. My parties were less alcohol induced because I like to play free and clear of liquid courage.
I did have a couple argue once, and it was important that I stopped what I was doing to handle it. It sucks having to be the grown up but you are responsible for everyone else there having a good time. I made them both leave. I did not bother with counseling them or talking it out – I wanted them gone, quickly and quietly and didn’t mention it to anyone else at the party who missed it – gossip is a mood killer. I did have someone show up without their significant other and denied him access though he was on my invite list – You have to be able to say no to people.
Like most intimate gatherings setting the mood is important, music not too loud, lighting not too bright but not too dark, move furniture for ease of movement, put away things you do not want touched or broken: I had some antique furniture that is off limits for sex so I just put them out in the garage.
Most importantly I chose people that I thought would best get along, this meant that some were not invited which is another reason to keep things on a low profile that no one’s feelings get hurt. Pick the people you think will get along and enjoy the event, the people you think will be attracted to one another.