Q: what are the fetishes you work with and the ones you won’t
A: well I have a very different definition of fetish than most people in a BDSM context, so for me to answer this question I will have to say the text book fetishes I have worked with vary from a desire to be eaten, castrated, to scolding someone masturbating while I am in a nun’s costume. These people were unable to achieve sexual gratification without their particular fetish – I worked with a person that required a spoon be used or present and I managed well because I have an appreciation for spoons.
Ah the human brain. You will meet people that have an invested interest in the whole picture and some that are into the things that make up a picture: example would be the guy that wanted to be eaten. Had I not spent time, hours, days and weeks talking with him, listening and asking questions, the average person would have overlooked his father was a butcher, he was a body builder, so meat and flesh were already fetish items for him at an early age. No I did not eat him, but I did host a party where he was the roasted pig, center table apple in mouth, and warm/hot foods were placed over his body (over the major organs) and we ‘ate’ with forks and knives off his flesh. This made him feel (physically and mentally) as though he was being eaten without breaking any laws.
In a BDSM context, or any other context, hell everyone can say they have a fetish as the excuse to justify their greed or simply taking part in something they enjoy. Sounds sexier to say I have a shoe fetish than it is to say I buy too many pairs of shoes to feel happy. So if you have one or are working with someone that has, it’s important to find out if it is something required and therefore must be worked out specifically or if it is just something that they really like and gives you more wiggle room to play with.
There is a fine line with fetishes that border on the re-enactment of old traumas, I do not have any interest in this area but often referred people to others that did. As great as it is to call yourself a submissive, a master or dominant whatever, it is equally important (I believe) to know people that can work with people you would not. Though I am understanding to a point, academically, as to why some people have a strong desire to relive a particular sexual trauma, incest, molestation, rape, sexual assault, or the like I feel as though I am not qualified to work with such particulars: it does not feel right and I do not enjoy it. I find these areas, for myself, and others, risky and potential harmful. They are however present, more than you can realize and not just kink minded people – just because you are into BDSM or kinky shit doesn’t mean you are fetishist.
I tend to have more interest in working with A-sexuals and people with an unorthodox fetish because it requires that I think outside the box and allows me to rise to the occasion – I believe I am that good. Because I do not mix sexual intercourse with what I do (I do not fuck what I beat) it would seem natural I am comfortable in a facilitation role. Though fetishes are sexual in nature, some are clearly off limits to me: I do not believe everything labeled a fetish is a fetish.
So in short it depends on the fetish, I make up my mind as I talk with someone and often it is a clear NO right away but hard for me to make a list for you but I hope this sort of answered your question as to how I work.