With teeth

smallblogA week since I broke off my casual whatever it was thing with SML and just about two months since I have been with PC. My husband and I have great sex, quality is worth mentioning; which includes his attentiveness, he takes his time and he is and has remained my ultimate fantasy. He is a very talented and qualified lover.

So what is exactly the problem?

It is not a problem per say, I can, we can, live without sex; I cannot live without clean water or food. However being that my sex drive is considerably high and has been since I was 17 the body actually requires a certain use. The more you have good sex the more the body craves it? Perhaps but last night I was in physical discomfort from lack of use. Ever have your toe or finger just twitch and move on its own? Well that was happening to my clit last night and I found it disturbing.

Not completely unused, my husband and I have sex on average once a week, and I do not require nor want it every day but it is a particular kind of sex that I seek. After I am done having sex with him, even if it goes on for an hour, I am happy but still wanting more.  Relatively new to me is the semen connection, in the past couple of years when he cums inside me it immediately starts a whole new sensation and multiplies my desires. It is not strange that body memory react to such an intimate detail but it is now something I actually think about and turns me on – this was a factor in my omitting condoms with PC and since having unprotected sex with him my desire to have them both bare inside me has become a distraction.

Historically it was only ever my primary that I had unprotected sex with and even then I was the ‘get up and shower’ kind of girl now I can sleep in the wet puddle with pure satisfaction. I am sometimes confounded with the whole reality: I am not ashamed of my sexuality nor would I change it for the world but I am obviously experiencing something new that I am currently unable to deconstruct and prone to a knee jerk reaction of just fucking my way through it.

Since I do not masturbate, or rather do not enjoy masturbation, I have started to look around some old haunts. I logged into FETLIFE which I have not done in ages, only to be shake my head in disbelief – the list of people in the state of Indiana leave me with something to be desired – and I remembered the process it has taken me to find someone worth my time. I do not regret letting SML go.

Craigslist is always good for a laugh, there is nothing like a young man holding a semi-automatic rifle to makes ones uterus quiver in fear and contemplate just what the fuck am I going to do. Surely I could post something myself but strangely I am not in that much of a rush nor do I look forward to the work involved: picture hunters, married men, and the odd down right creepy lazy eye Christian dude that believes all women are truly submissive. Christ is the last man I want to think about whilst in congress.

I am considering two things: mixing sexual intercourse with my kink and or perhaps someone younger than my usual 40 plus preference. I am not doggin’ on the mature men of the world, I am in fact and will remain fond of a talented experienced man. I haven’t fucked a 20 something guy since I was in high school, I am not sure I could assure his safety.  I could of course double up now and then, it has been a year since my last threesome but that feels to be twice as much work and more risk than my husband would be comfortable with and I derive the pleasure of threesomes by having my husband involved.

Oh what is a sexual creature to do…

4 comments on “With teeth

  1. kdaddy23 says:

    You know, they say that men and women not only have different times when they peak but the ‘fact’ that people do reach a particular sexual peak… and then they say it’s all downhill after that; I really have a problem with that because as I’ve grown older, I don’t want less sex – I want more and the more diverse – or even ‘kinky’ it is, the more I want it.

    So to read what you’ve written, well, it makes sense to me and I’d even admit that, at this moment, it makes sense to me in a way that escapes me. Like, there’s one thing to be inside a woman and all covered up – being safe, avoiding pregnancy, stuff like that; then there’s something else to be bare inside her and being one with her in that moment when you flood her vault with sperm; it not only means something to the guy but it means just as much – and maybe even more – to the woman on the receiving end of said flood.

    I’ve had women explain this one to me and, wow, it’s a lot to understand. Hell, having been on the receiving end of this (and probably too many times) kinda helps explain it, like you don’t really ‘get it’ until you feel that sperm flowing into you.

    Sounds weird… but, then again, it really isn’t, huh?

    • Pyx says:

      Certainly you are on to something, though I will admit I never considered the ‘deposit’ to be special from a male perspective. Not sure why, but I should accept that for some it does in fact mean something beyond the spreading a wide net of seed.

      And you are good to bring up diversity; if we are so fortunate to reach a level of self love, being okay with how we are (our body and minds) and have experience of how the game is played… we really do seek out worthy partnerships and those people impact what we do. Not that a good ole anonymous fuck doesnt still hold its appeal, but i think for most women they feel a certain level of confidence with a guy and fantasies are no longer faceless but ABOUT the man they are with? A woman is more likely to have a threesome with a man she loves and knows loves her than just going out and picking up two guys.

      I am fascinated with my new cum-curiosity.

      Working with fetishes I know we can be drawn to the very things that we fear: I fear semen. I fear STI’s, I have only ever once taken a shot in the mouth (and it was my husband) but yet I am completely taken with PC’s cock, bare, unrestricted…. and he sort of mingles in my mind with my husband. In a way I am having/keeping them both.

      Just when I thought i couldnt become more perverted – but actually that is just the easy way out. I didnt think I could surprise myself let alone be even more comfortable with me.

      thank you for your response, it’s making me think it all over again …

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Well, taking a man’s semen – and in any way you care to take it – is a trust issue and maybe more so these days. Yet, despite your fears, you’ve found that, hey, it ain’t all that bad and more so when you can get it from men who you trust at the deepest levels.

        More perverted? Methinks you’re not as ‘perverted’ as you could be and still be happy with yourself; the things we once saw as being perverted – oh, like, having a loving husband AND a lover – aren’t as perverted as we once thought; think about that one for a moment, if you will (and do it in Old Norse). Thus, if we’ve never done it or are afraid to try it, then it must be perverted… until we do try it and find that it works rather nicely for us and that the real perverts are the ones who would never do what we can do…

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