A week since I broke off my casual whatever it was thing with SML and just about two months since I have been with PC. My husband and I have great sex, quality is worth mentioning; which includes his attentiveness, he takes his time and he is and has remained my ultimate fantasy. He is a very talented and qualified lover.
So what is exactly the problem?
It is not a problem per say, I can, we can, live without sex; I cannot live without clean water or food. However being that my sex drive is considerably high and has been since I was 17 the body actually requires a certain use. The more you have good sex the more the body craves it? Perhaps but last night I was in physical discomfort from lack of use. Ever have your toe or finger just twitch and move on its own? Well that was happening to my clit last night and I found it disturbing.
Not completely unused, my husband and I have sex on average once a week, and I do not require nor want it every day but it is a particular kind of sex that I seek. After I am done having sex with him, even if it goes on for an hour, I am happy but still wanting more. Relatively new to me is the semen connection, in the past couple of years when he cums inside me it immediately starts a whole new sensation and multiplies my desires. It is not strange that body memory react to such an intimate detail but it is now something I actually think about and turns me on – this was a factor in my omitting condoms with PC and since having unprotected sex with him my desire to have them both bare inside me has become a distraction.
Historically it was only ever my primary that I had unprotected sex with and even then I was the ‘get up and shower’ kind of girl now I can sleep in the wet puddle with pure satisfaction. I am sometimes confounded with the whole reality: I am not ashamed of my sexuality nor would I change it for the world but I am obviously experiencing something new that I am currently unable to deconstruct and prone to a knee jerk reaction of just fucking my way through it.
Since I do not masturbate, or rather do not enjoy masturbation, I have started to look around some old haunts. I logged into FETLIFE which I have not done in ages, only to be shake my head in disbelief – the list of people in the state of Indiana leave me with something to be desired – and I remembered the process it has taken me to find someone worth my time. I do not regret letting SML go.
Craigslist is always good for a laugh, there is nothing like a young man holding a semi-automatic rifle to makes ones uterus quiver in fear and contemplate just what the fuck am I going to do. Surely I could post something myself but strangely I am not in that much of a rush nor do I look forward to the work involved: picture hunters, married men, and the odd down right creepy lazy eye Christian dude that believes all women are truly submissive. Christ is the last man I want to think about whilst in congress.
I am considering two things: mixing sexual intercourse with my kink and or perhaps someone younger than my usual 40 plus preference. I am not doggin’ on the mature men of the world, I am in fact and will remain fond of a talented experienced man. I haven’t fucked a 20 something guy since I was in high school, I am not sure I could assure his safety. I could of course double up now and then, it has been a year since my last threesome but that feels to be twice as much work and more risk than my husband would be comfortable with and I derive the pleasure of threesomes by having my husband involved.
Oh what is a sexual creature to do…