Q: […] for a woman you seem to have a particular arrogance that is a real turn off […]
using and making up terms to hide the fact that you are a woman of loose morals
[…] flippant about marriage […]
A: Yes I do get hate mail and am just as fond of them as other types of mail but now that we are all done laughing, my husband and I got a great pleasure from this email over the weekend, I will respond.
Though I cannot sincerely apologize for my qualities as a person, let alone my being a woman, I assure you that I am in agreement with your particular views. As a woman I do possess an arrogance that is rarely put on display for others to see, especially men, let alone witnessed. I understand that since I am unwilling to write with emoticons, pink childlike fonts, the obvious lack of private part pictures, call myself ‘boobookittyfuckslut’ and use of ‘lol’s’ to excess this can confuse and leave the opposite gender to assume I, as a woman, do not know my place. I would imagine if I were a man of a particular gender superiority complex and limited experience or desire to be with an assertive woman, I too would find a confident woman a turn off.
I assure you good Sir I am fully aware of my place as a woman, in my marriage and in the world as a whole and I am settled with the pleasure to disappoint some. I do not for a moment believe that all will like me, want me or love me, in fact I desire a world of difference that it would indeed become a boring place if everyone were like me or to always agree. I am truly, and remain, solely invest in this part of discourse with people whom are opposite to me as clearly you are.
Perhaps it was through example in my upbringing by strong supportive men and women coupled with an overabundance of education and enlightenment that I lack your humble piety. I never mistook my fortunate opportunity to travel the world and experience firsthand other cultures to be arrogance but as another learning opportunity of the world in which I live, other peoples and about myself; allowing me the luxury of knowing what I am talking about and what it is I believe in. Had I been shut in and not experienced such things I suppose this would be a blog of fantasy, but alas it is not.
I can only place myself above others that are far too willing to place themselves so low, for this I certainly agree that you will find me arrogant as I am not fraught constantly with emotional struggles of the self but rather love myself and am happy. Have we come to expect a certain amount of female lamentation in regard to herself worth that only depressing, repetitive, blogs are considered popular?! Perhaps the lack of confident female blogs, including a sexual context, does make some uncomfortable (as it should) because they are already in mind to have a view of just what a woman should be sexually. I am certainly not writing to change your good opinion nor seek it out.
I would appear to some that I make up terms to justify my actions when in fact I use them to communicate or introduce others to my opinions; I am not writing for myself or I would have a book and pen under my bed but rather to people who might not be of the West. Because as human beings we will and can justify atrocities on a massive scale I feel that I am not harming, physically or mentally, others by justifying mine; so, in my writing the terms are used carefully and not just tossed out. This blog is about audience and very purposefully crafted (though not always well). I do not believe that everyone is out to use the internet solely for boobie pictures and masturbatory fodder. Those pages are in abundance elsewhere.
Blogs, tweets and all such manner of open forums are vanity – I do not suppose for a moment that anything I do is important enough to be broadcast around the world: why I do not tweet. I cannot recommend anyone should read my blog, nor recommend myself onto anyone but the world of communication has turned into one of immediacy and it behooves the reader to seek out the best possible pleasure. I enjoy writing this blog and have been writing this way for over 18 years. If someone, such as yourself, has come to find these not so humble pages and inspires them in thought, empathy, or even anger, then I shall declare a victory!
I am guilty of being flippant about marriage, not just my own. When the average marriage in North American is three years, two people whom once loved each other (possibly had children) dissolve into hurtful tactics just to win, manipulation, cheat and lie – I am not really confronted with the best examples of its benefits am I? I do not believe you need be married to love someone, live with them and share a life. I understand it is important to some people and would never deny them, regardless of sexual orientation, the right to do so. I never hid my displeasure of the intuition from my husband and he appreciates that I did in fact marry him – for his sake – and is aware of what a tremendous deal it was to me. I assure you he is happy so I hope this will relieve you of some concern in his regard.
In closing I want to say thank you for taking the time out to read my entries and to write me, even though it seems I offend your delicate sensibilities, it would be dishonest of me to not admit that I get such emails. The only evidence I present in these pages is my pleasure, sexuality, happiness, curiosity, disappointments, struggles, rage and at my age the ability to be impressed by those around me. Yes I write this blog for women, because I am a woman, and I believe them to be by gender alone of value. I was not born this way but worked to become a confident woman in all aspects of my life, it was not just fortune or pity that I found such a loving partner I played a part in it as well but it was all done outside of the confines of a man’s good opinion of me. I truly believe we women are of worth and can be gracefully strong even without a partner; without my husband I assure you I would still be writing as I do. I think that my stability is a testament to my way of living a good life filled with love and loving others. I wish nothing less for everyone and yourself.