I do not mind the story breaking as I think the families of the girls are truly fortunate to be reunited once more, however what I do not like are the stupid catch titles the media and others come with to sensationalize the story: kidnap den.
The hard reality is reading a story like this and thinking of all the times I spent the night out, away from my safe home aware that this very thing could have happened. Oh certainly we would like nothing more than to believe that such offenses do not happen or should not happen in North America but let us be very logical – this is a human condition and a cultural one: we are creatures capable of violence against one another and against women.
There was no one conversation that I had with my parents that re-enforced the notion that crimes are committed against women because they are women but it was understood. The unspoken truth growing up was that with a cunt we need not ever starve because we always have a pussy for trade. Yes it is offensive but it is also the truth. My parents instead did what most parents do ‘someone could take you’ and filled me with fear and the idea that something I do, simply by being a woman, could make me a victim.
In fact by talking to me like that they made me a victim before I was even old enough to understand and by talking that way they made the law the only impediment to say my brother committing a crime: instead of explaining why it was wrong on a level of humanity it was wrong because the police said so and will come arrest you.
I do not remember them ever, not once, telling my brother that rape was wrong and why it was wrong. I do not recall them socially preparing my brother for a situation where he might have to step in and help a woman or protect her virtue against not only his friends but perhaps himself.
Do you think my brother was told that there is a fine line that can be crossed when a woman has had too much to drink that perhaps he should not mess with her sexually?
I was told to not leave my beer unattended, only buy my own drinks, do not leave the bar with a man I just met, do not drink too much, do not wear that short skirt, do not walk home… fear fear fear.
We should be able to walk down the street at night wearing whatever we want but we don’t because we women realize early on that how things are and how things should be are two very different things but today I am going to start asking parents of young men if they are taking the time to talk to their young boys the same way because I am certainly tired of it being my fault just because I am a girl.