bedMy name is Pyx and it has been three weeks since I have had cock.

I certainly did not set out to not have sex but life, work, germs and the universe had other things in mind. I have to say all things considered I have been rather well behaved. Usually by now I am climbing the walls, searching out some internet site or inviting someone from my list over and fucking him blind. right now I am a bit stir crazy with lack of cock, my crotch being at a constant hum but I am coming up to some plans with PC and that might have something to do with it but they are not sexual plans so…

Of course the universe is no friend of mine! The rain is my number one turn on, it is after all something man cannot control and it has been raining for the past few weeks daily. God I love fucking outdoors, in the dark, in a tent or by the fire, in a car – if it’s raining even better. I remember once in the middle of winter I talked a guy into fucking me outside. I made a little dug out in the snow, laid down a blanket and covered us with the other – half way through I threw off the blanket and steam rose from my body. You have to appreciate the way hot meets cold and can create a whole new sensation.

SML contacted me out of the blue and I almost didn’t answer his message but I did my best to keep the chat casual. He of course has access to a boat and fucking in the water being close enough to rain (wet) was almost tempting. Almost. I managed to overcome the temptation, not him but the lake and boat – I am just beyond using someone and cannot afford the karma.I am not sure fucking him would even please me at this point I am actually very pleased with my husband’s and PC’s cock – okay obviously I wish I had them more often but I am about quality and not quantity. God I have grown up!

PC is chatting to a woman about meeting and mentioned that she might, a big maybe, be interested in letting me watch. I am certain she would rather drive all this way to be alone with him and I will not be hurt if I am not invited – surprisingly she is engaged and I sort of wonder why it is he gets involved with married women or taken ones but I am not thinking about it hard enough to change my situation with him. This woman’s concern seems to be that it will not just be me watching – and I can understand her concern because not everyone is into threesomes and not everyone is into having someone watch: let alone it being another woman. I wonder if on some level we women aren’t more suspicious of other women than we are of men, we might assume another guy would watch or want too, but does she think he is giving her a line to have a threesome or does she think that I could not simply sit and watch?

That is actually a big part of the fantasy and you have to admire the fact that someone could sit still and just watch but you also have to accept that it can creep someone out. It seems perfectly natural for me to want to watch PC with another woman. I have watched my husband fuck other women but usually I was with that woman’s husband. It is invasive and certainly would not insist but PC is not the sort to be sly about his intentions with a woman, he does not say something he doesn’t mean – but is it really so strange to accept, even though you might not enjoy it or want to be a part of it, that a woman could or would want to sit and watch?

He is a wonderful lover and I would certainly pimp him out if I could. I want to watch him with someone else; I want to watch them react to him. I want to hear someone else, other than me, fuck him. I want to watch his body – like an outer body experience – fucking another woman. There are things I miss from my position while fucking him and as much as I desire to touch and have every inch of his flesh under my hands and between my lips I am curious if he inspires the same in other girls. I think he would if she is in touch with her sexuality the way I am. God what a turn on it would be to watch him actually break through someone’s barrier.

He has a great cock but that is just mechanics – he is actually attentive, though tender and rather sweet, a little bit of me wants to see something in him that perhaps even he hasn’t seen. Would me watching affect the way he fucks her? I think of it often enough that I take the time to watch for willing girls. He is never that far from mind that I cannot imagine him or rather him with another woman. I want to sit on the other side of a light, in a nice hotel room, from an advantage point where I could watch and not have to move about the room. I want them both to be aware I am there but I want them to get lost in the moment and forget that I am. I have no intentions of moving, saying a word or asking for them to accommodate me in other way.

It is almost like an outer body experience, though it is not me, I do get to watch his body from a perspective that I am denied when fucking him. I want to see her hands on his back, the whole of his body – his legs and his arms- and his cock pushing it’s way into another body. The way his hands cup a breast and how he kisses it. Of course the sound of other people fucking is a turn on but I know that cock and I know what it can do and I want to witness it at work. I want to see if he would actually look over at me while he’s cock deep in another woman – it is really the only level of my involvement after all.

I guess if I was to be honest and rarely do I not do just that, I have to say that PC does not belong to me but the one thing I do get that another women does not (at this moment in time) is his cum. His cum is really the only thing that sets me apart from them and though I am not claiming ownership over him his cum is one of my all-time biggest desires.As much as the thought of watching him with someone else, smelling them, hearing them and being there turns me on all the stuff that comes after is what gets me off.

I could care less if he moves the same way with me as he did her.

I could care less if he kissed her more than he does me.

I could care less if he ate her out or fucked her longer.

I care about that look on his face, his knowing that he just fucked someone else, I watched and I am still there. Just as I mentioned I have a thing with water, rain, lakes or rivers and I have to admit that I very much want the opportunity to wash him when he is done. Not to rinse her away but rather to relax and show him I very much approve and I am grateful he involved me. I have a need to let someone know they were great, reward them or show them they matter to me and usually bathing is reserved for a rare few. I very much love the idea of fucking him the same night and looking at him while he does but thinking of him with her or rather his body with hers. I want all the dirty talk that comes afterwards, I want him to tell me how it was, how much he enjoyed it and what it was like to be watched but I get the bare cock and cum she didn’t.

I would be just as happy to watch him sleep with a shit eating grin on his face.

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