Pyx answers her mail: Queening/BDSM


Q: My husband is also my slave and recently he has communicated an interest in Queening but I am a larger woman and not too sure how to go about this. Help?

A: Actually the cool thing is, a lot of men love the size factor in just this scenario! If you do not mind I am first going to explain what Queening is to people who might not be aware: it is face sitting. When a woman takes her place over/above another person’s face and allows greater access for oral pleasure or used with forced oral.

queenOkay the whole thing is rather hot hot hot, I mean just the power exchange of this position let alone the pleasure aspect, so I can understand why your slave would truly desire to serve you like this but your question is how to go about it for the larger sized woman; very doable!

Here are some of my ideas:

  1. You can modify your own chair. Now I would choose a nice wood chair that compliments my taste and remove the seat, making sure there are not splinters or nails of course. The only impediment to this however is the distance you would have between your body and his face. However equally asqueen2 easy is propping up his head comfortably to achieve the correct height with pillows but make sure to support some of his back as well and maybe even his hips. As someone who entertains in her home I choose to use a chair that I can remove/replace the seat and no one has a clue what they are sitting on, so there is no need to hide the furniture. This is a comfortable option that allows for longer service time. You could cut the legs down of the chair as well I guess but less likely to be easy explaining that to people who might sit on it.


  1. queen5This comfortable little bench is so much fun! Sure you would think as a larger woman that putting yourself down on two huge elastic bands might be problematic but it’s not. If you or your slave is handy, this can be made at home as well. The great thing about this is you can use a little bounce in bungy to move yourself away from his face. This is lower than a chair obviously so it is also a pleasure to use over the cock – gives him a nice view should he be deserving of such reward – and can be used anywhere: on a bed or on the floor. This is also a nice option for longer service time.



  1. Using the couch or headboard to support yourself upwards over his face. Now for someone who is just starting out with queening I can understand the concern of smothering a loved one however, and I say this seriously but with a bit of a smile: practice with a balloon or a small yoga ball. Seriously this is just as much about you getting used to the feelings of sitting down comfortably on his face as it is about having it work out! It will boost your confidence too knowing exactly how it is you wish you lower yourself down on his face. You can for the first couple of times ensure his arms are not bound so that he could give you an indication with his free hands should something be too intense; so do not pressure yourself right away to go full face if you don’t want! The pleasure of doing it freehand or without aid will come soon enough; you will know when you give him pause because you will know what to look for.


  1. queen4As a handy woman that loves power tools I always suggest making your own! There might be someone local you can work with and this is often so affordable you will ask ‘why didn’t I do this before’ and make more kink furniture! Making something to your height and specifications is something to be proud of! You can see how simple this design is but also are free to make it your own: use materials you like, more or less smother boxstuffing, and why not add some hardware: this design makes me want to add some nice O rings on the side of the head box to bind his hands too.


I hope this helped;  and have fun.



13 comments on “Pyx answers her mail: Queening/BDSM

  1. kdaddy23 says:

    I dunno… if a woman wanted to force me to have oral sex with her, I’m thinking she’d never have to do that; in fact, I’d always invite her to sit on my face. I’ve had large women pretty much smother me during oral sex; it’s a bit scary ’cause you have to try to breathe when you can. I understand this can be a BDSM thing… but for a chance to eat that pussy? Yeah, she sure as hell wouldn’t have to ask twice!

    • Pyx says:

      You dont think she would have to do what, use a sexual tool? I took her question to mean that her man was more interested in the actual position of her on top of his face vs her just between her legs; the position in BDSM context is a power thing.

      I like your willingness Kdaddy – you certainly have a great sense of adventure and it comes through loud and clear. And you are certainly right that all we ladies need do is ask but then for a lot of us it involves other stuff: and we like the toys!

      I dont think a woman being aware of her size or intimidated by something new is a BDSM thing – as you can see it can be a BDSM thing where even skinny girls sit on a perch – it really is a sexual thing and sometimes aids help. We would be lying if we were to say that size does not impact some sexual positions or even make them impossible.

      The BDSM aspect is about presentation; our tools are often used as a way to inspire emotions/reactions in the people we are with: so to someone being led to a chair with no bottom, there is anticipation and excitement there and often these tool are used to inspire a sense of loss of control, confusion, intimidation and fear.

      we ladies are under the same visual pressures men can find themselves in when it comes to sex, the videos and pictures out there of queening are often these wonderfully confident women, some bigger than others yes, but at the same time people who write me do not need give me their dress size either: so keep in mind there is a big, bigger and biggest issue here.

      Not every woman has sat on a man’s face even if she has gotten head – the position itself, depending where you are, can be uncomfortable for some people, even if they are on top. So when I give advice, perhaps unaware of medical conditions and physical limitations or unwilling to post them here I do my best to cover it all!

      Hell now I want a new queening chair.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        I guess having a chair or other device for the purpose not only helps but is safer… unless the guy likes being suffocated. I admit that the BDSM aspects just escape me; my brain says that if she sits on my face, that pussy’s getting eaten and if she doesn’t want it eaten, well, don’t sit there.

        Out of all the sexual things I understand, BDSM is just the one thing that goes over my head every time I try to understand it… 😦

      • Pyx says:

        well the great thing is you at least agree to understand people’s desire for it! You dont seem to hold it against those of us with questionable devices.

        I do get the whole brain thing tho, it is beyond me why anyone would want to cuddle….

      • kdaddy23 says:

        I kinda get it… but I know I couldn’t do it – I just find it fascinating.

        Cuddling’s for after the fact…

      • Pyx says:

        My version of aftercare is a pat on the back and a lollypop. Hehehe. Joking! but I certainly do not cuddle or fuck what i beat.

        So with all your bisexual experience you never rubbed up against the leather man/kink thing with other guys? Not saying all gays guys have, certainly not but I’m curious – perhaps kink was just never your thing and you knew it early on. Which can be a life saver.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Nope – never got into the leather/kink thing with anyone – I was never fond of leather to begin with, not to mention I figured I was pretty kinky to begin with, ya know?

      • Pyx says:

        yeah makes perfect sense to me! My husband refers to it as the ‘dress up game’ LMAO he isnt into BDSM but he sure is kinky sometimes.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Dress up… never thought of it like that but it’s appropriate. I’ve seen guys all decked out in their leathers and not only do some of them look ridiculous but I don’t find it in the least bit sexy. Now, if a lady wants to sit on my face, well, now, that’s different!

  2. john says:

    I am a man that would like to be a slave to a woman, and have her use me to kiss her ass, but I haven’t found her yet. I live near Farmington, Missouri 63670.

  3. john says:

    I have french kissed a woman’s ass before and really enjoyed that, but have never yet had a woman sit above me. When I find her, I hope she will want me to incorporate our queening experience with magical religious ceremonial Goddess worship. I want to build a custom queening chair for the Goddess that resembles an ornate wooden thigh backed throne worthy of her royalty. I want to ceremonially call upon the spirits before our ceremonial sex so they to can enjoy the intimacy as voyeurs. I am still looking for the Goddess.

    • Pyx says:


      You are truly welcome here to share your thoughts and opinions however I would politely ask you to refrain from using this personal blog to solicit personal emails. I have chosen to leave your comments but removed the private email address.

      Consider hosting your own blog or wordpress account so that others may find you and contact you in the hopes of finding such a partner. I am not going to be responsible for who or what contacts you via this blog.

      You are more than encouraged to use any venue at your disposal to find someone that can help you with this fantasy, unfortunately I am unable to assists you and this really is not the place to post personal ads.

      Thank you very much,

      • john says:

        I’m sorry pyx. thanks for explaining the rules of using this forum. I’m new to this and meant no harm. Do you have any suggestions for me as to how I might find a woman that would be compatible with me ?. I have posted on regular dating site’s only to receive judgmental, scolding, and insulting comment’s from many of christian oriented female’s that browse my ads .

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