There and back again

Pyx altered pic: fromage wizzy

Pyx altered pic: fromage wizzy

 

My husband has decided to make another couples profile on Adult Friend Finder (AFF).  We had one about a year ago and I got so frustrated from the endeavor that I never went back. D’s reasoning is simple; why not. As much as I can understand I have told him that I intend to be rather removed from the site.

You see for years we were on AFF, good standing members – we chatted, we had our cam up so that people could see us together, the real couple, we blogged and of course we corresponded with people. My issue with the site and the people on it is a mathematical one: time and effort equaled nothing.

The first thing that became obvious was that my husband was in the way. This means that every other guy under the sun assumed that I would meet them without my husband present or that as a couple we would find them so special and spectacular that we would invite them over. Worse was being confronted with couples of which only the male was up for showing up: doubtful the wife even knew of the profile or there was never one to begin with.

Being on cam was not a huge issue for me because I am not a cam whore – I wasn’t fucking people on cam, I wasn’t jerking myself off and I surely was not watching guys beat their meat. Honestly, as I have always done, I sat on cam with a smile, presentable and actually tried to talk with people. Of course every other message was ‘show me your tits’ but those are easy to ignore. What was not easy to ignore was that once you turn someone down to meet them, a supposed adult, they would find ways to make your life on the site hell: once my cam was up it became common for my profile to get banned for abuse but see above – nothing was going on on my cam. Okay a few times at xmas I think I let some soldiers watch me bake cookies and twice I did a bag show. Pretty tame I assure you but I always had fun.

The issue with the maturity level of anonymous people online is beyond my understanding – if I wouldn’t say this to your face I wouldn’t say this online – but worse was I hit a wall and got tired of arguing my point to the site’s administrators.  So it’s a free site, why not make another profile? The issue with that is, I shouldn’t have too and it looks bad for the same person to be constantly showing up with a new ID every other week.

I really do not mind meeting other couples with my husband, and I feel for his desire in that – where else is he supposed to go? What I have found however is that I am irked whenever he logs in. Not because of anything he did, but because I know we will be where we were years ago… and this will turn into a frustrating rant on our parts.

I am married to a lovely man that is 20 years my senior, that right there is a hard fact that many mature women take umbrage: rarely does a 60 something woman want her man with a 30 something woman. Being the youngest one in the room does not bother me but it has only happened twice all the other women have made it clear I was too young. Even the older couples seem to play virtual tickle games: it would seem having the profile is enough sexual lube for them to get each other off albeit without any intention of meeting others.  Even worse was the couple that believed themselves to be porn stars or that could fuck like a pro: rarely did they survive an evening at the Chateau or seeing their partner actually get naked with someone else.

 

The couples we have met – not to be rude- but were not people I would have normally picked up on my own. The sad reality is that location dictates what is available and Indiana women, some not all, do not age well as is with the men. Oh don’t get me wrong, you will find a great body on a 50 something woman, a brand new pair of tits after the kids moved out but holy fucking hell when you get to the face… let’s just say a bag might not even help. I am not a killer beauty trust me this is not an ego thing but I should at least be able to look at the person without thinking of the hag from Army of Darkness.

My concern is that my husband will once again be disappointed, the potential meets that come to nothing and he is once again forced to sit here with me and realize that we are not a common couple: we actually mean what we say and follow through. I am trying to be supportive of course, he is writing a blog, which I read after he is done writing it but I have made it clear I am NOT spending hours sitting on cam: I do not need to impress these people.

I took a moment the other day to look around the site and noticed all the same old faces and same old profile pictures – hopefully there is a couple out there that finds him (us) suitable, and I am surely not taking one for the team in meeting them, but I am not hopeful either. The best thing I can do is assure my partner that what he is doing is okay, him being there does not bother me, I know of the profile and can access the site at any time. What I do not want to happen is if nothing comes to pass of the attempt at meeting others I am not held responsible but my husband has never been this sort. Today he mentioned the nostalgia factor, the things we have done together and for now I am taking it for what it is: we are still an active sexual couple.

But I do so HATE AFF….

7 comments on “There and back again

  1. kdaddy23 says:

    AFF sucks and never in a good way; one would be better off propositioning the next-door neighbors…

    • Pyx says:

      HA! I am so happy to hear I am not the only one that finds it sucks donkey balls and not even in an entertaining light.

      You are so right! Well all of mine are over 70 and good god fearing folk but your meaning is correct. Maybe for him now that his health is back to good he is not only nostalgic but a bit up for adventure and I cannot complain of that.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        I think we spent two years on AFF as premium members… and the only real connection we made was with a couple who told us that being in our 50s, we were too young for them. Every other contact was just pure bullshit and pretty much what you experienced being on this now-worthless site.

        You know it can’t be worth anything if more people are going to Craiglist to get laid – and having better success!

      • Pyx says:

        True I guess CL is an option – one that only requires a bit of patience to answer emails and would get to skip the whole cam bullshit. I might recommend that to him.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        I think we spent two years on AFF as premium members… and the only real connection we made was with a couple who told us that being in our 50s, we were too young for them. Every other contact was just pure bullshit and pretty much what you experienced being on this now-worthless site.

        You know it can’t be worth anything if more people are going to Craiglist to get laid – and having better success!

  2. lovingncfun says:

    Have you tried SLS? Not sure where you are, but it usually is a good place to look.

    • Pyx says:

      Oh wow, I didn’t think of that – perhaps I was distracted by being all negative about AFF – I think I came upon that site a few years ago…

      Thank you, I will certainly share that with my partner. Good call.

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