On Saturday my husband and I were to meet up with M&M. Now I know it is just me and rarely do I change my own personal guidelines but in order to make things easier for my husband to communicate with this particular couple did I give them my personal instant messenger ID.
I like to keep my family and friends separate from the people I play with. Nice tiny little labeled boxes.
So throughout the week Mr M kept chatting us up. It is not that I do not appreciate the medium, nor do I mind talking with the people we made plans with but I find there can be too much contact at times. Mr M became dangerously close to changing my mind about having them over at all. Thankfully my husband was sharing in my sentiment – I mean how is a husband supposed to answer another man when asked about his wife’s ‘pretty little pink pussy’ just ewwww. That sort of conversation feels unnecessary, tacky, classless, and does nothing for us as a couple.
Me and D are not the cyber sex sort and though I can appreciate some dirty talk it really does matter to me who is doing it – even when I was a country or continent away I have to say we didn’t get down to much dirty talk, well not in graphic detail. I only ever asked D once, for my birthday, to do a strip tease for me. He will gladly tell you that it took him 6 months of playing checkers online before he ever got to see a nipple.
Anyhow Mr M for all his chatting mentioned their intentions (and that he was bringing his penis pump for aid) and the fact she was shaved bare, when I was more concerned with menu options for my guests. Since I got my cycle I chose to inform them that I was out of commission but plans could still go forward – it turns out Mrs M had a serious asthma attack the previous week and was still in need of recovery time. So why the fuck did I have to go through all that creepy chat for?! Arrrg.
My husband felt relief and decided to cancel for Saturday all together and schedule for another time. Unfortunately my husband keeps referring to Mr M as ‘Mr Penis Pump’. Le sigh.
The ‘watching’ couple I was in contact with changed their mind. I had talked to him just fine, he was very clear with what he wanted and why he was willing to put up his wife to fuck a stranger but when I insisted on a few answers from her; he and me got nothing but hesitation. I asked how she was feeling and I got nothing but how he was feeling – she could not even verbalize it.
Of course it was his idea but the notion of her just doing it to make him happy gave me the impression he was pestering her and finally wore her down. I am not the one fucking her but I did not want PC to be in a situation where things could blow up and get ugly real fast or after the fact. A lot of people can experience regret after doing something like this but some people can also make a scene at the time and dare I say the idea of such dramatics turn me off.
As much as I wanted to watch PC fuck this girl I could not do it at the risk of her. It is not about age and it is not about experience, you see certain signs after doing this for a while that someone is going through with things for all the wrong reasons. Certainly that means I could take advantage and gotten what I wanted but if I wanted to watch PC fuck someone that was forced to do this I would get my own slave and not use someone else’s. I want to see a woman enjoy him and I want to see him enjoy her – not just two people going through the motions of it, that is what dolls are for.
Even though I was bummed I have to say I am glad this guy got to the point where he spoke for her for a change and realized what she was feeling was valid and she was not worth putting up for use. Good for her is she said it herself but I got the impression it was his decision.
I know we are all doing this sexual adult entertainment stuff for different reasons, yes it should be fun and pleasurable, but I truly believe it should be for all involved – even though everyone will experience different levels of it and it will mean different things. Being the one with experience I take the charge seriously enough that the other people matter to me, I don’t care what their favourite movie is or what colour they like best, I care that they have some sense of proportion.
I never used guys when I was single and fucking around with them and I am not about to do it because I now number two. Being a couple means even more responsibility, because I not only have to ensure that my relationships can deal but that my partners are safe. I would hate for them to be accused of something and I would certainly hate my partners being someone’s bad experience that ruins their potential in the future.
It is a very adult notion, being the one that knows better, but without that I could not enjoy its liberties.