Phone Sex

phone-sex

Sometimes I just have the urge to call him and say ‘Make me cum for you right now’

Panting and moaning to his voice and listening to him breathe.

But then I remember the last time I tried to have phone sex and its epic failure. I swore I would never bother another man for phone sex again.

It was one of those ‘it could only happen to me moments’ but it did happen and it was me.

I called D from another continent, feeling awkward and silly, and request quick sexual assistance and found a surprised voice on the other end. Oh surely had the cat not walked in at that very moment with a chipmunk that was still alive things could have gone better, but no, they got worse.

The cat let loose the chipmunk which got the dog running after it and the chipmunk then ran up over the counter where the cat followed it in hot pursuit.

The chipmunk found safety behind the fridge, for a moment, while a dog barked, the cat hissed and two ferrets got in on the fun – my phone partner however was busy trying to help the furry innocent creature survive while kicking back the herd of killers.

All the while holding onto the phone and asking me just what it is exactly it was he could for me.

I remember standing in my room naked, my arousal now gone as I shouted for him to open the window and not let them kill it.

He shouted back that no one has a fucking window behind their fucking fridge.

He assured me if I called back in a few minutes he would have them all sorted out.

I hung up.

I never asked again.

I do still have the urge to cum with someone over the phone while they are miles away.

16 comments on “Phone Sex

  1. kdaddy23 says:

    That was too funny – you must have been one frustrated sista when that insanity jumped off! One thing, though – what happened to the chipmunk?

    • Pyx says:

      He got a name, Percival, and for a week he lived behind the fridge till one day D was able to open the backdoor, without any killers around, and Percival walked out – cautiously.

      The way D tells it is funnier, of course, because he swears the cat sat down at his feet as he was on the phone with me, smiled and then let the chipmunk drop…

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Oh, I understand! I had a cat who loved to kill things and then bring them to me all mangled and bloody. And, Pyx, you just haven’t had sex until you’re trying to go down on your partner and the cat snuck in the room and is now licking your feet!

        Good times, yeah…

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Oh, I understand! I had a cat who loved to kill things and then bring them to me all mangled and bloody. And, Pyx, you just haven’t had sex until you’re trying to go down on your partner and the cat snuck in the room and is now licking your feet!

        Good times, yeah…

      • Pyx says:

        The whole dead animal gift giving I get, hell I got a rabbit once! but animals on the bed… uh uh no way! and sex is one of the reasons why.

        I did have sex with a guy once, I was on top, and his dog licked my butt cheek… we laughed about it so hard but i swear I never looked at dogs the same way again. No more pets in the room, its a house rule!

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Well ya know cats are stealthy and ours is a master ninja! We closed her in with us without knowing we did but the last time we saw her before we closed the door, she was in the living room!

      • Pyx says:

        ha! and they always seem to know exactly what to do to make things uncomfortable.

        and they have those weird tongues.
        which would make me giggle, even with a mouth full of fur.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        I can tell you it’s hard to eat pussy and laugh

      • Pyx says:

        especially when your lady friend has no idea what is going on behind you! LOL

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Oh, and I got a squirrel one time

      • Pyx says:

        the strangest thing I got was a flying squirrel and only because they arent supposed to be found around here. go figure!

  2. LMFAO!! That’s hilarious, especially to someone like me, who’s not big on phone sex anyhow. I actually recently blew off a guy because we hadn’t met yet and he was pushing for phone sex. I tried to explain to him that it is too chaotic at my house with kids running all around for me to be doing that. So he kept begging and pleading and said couldn’t I just sneak off in the bathroom or something. Um, no. There would be little people knocking at the door. So then he has the nerve to try and call me anyway! Ugh!! Anyhow I like the squirrel story because it kinda sounds like my house on a daily basis! Lmao

    • Pyx says:

      he called you anyway?! wow…

      Funny thing is, I think I would rather have phone sex than cyber sex – I think I like the human voice thing more than removed distant text. I had been gone for six months so the attempt seemed worth it at the time – sometimes a girl needs help getting off.

      It was horrible at the time, it happened so fast and even though I wasn’t there I felt the intense desire to save this little creature! I was yelling, he was yelling and there was all this barking, and he is yelling at the pets…. I guess it is like having a house full of kids LOL chaos.

  3. mala says:

    LOL… twos a charm then? Try it again, it can only be better this time 😉

    • Pyx says:

      Going to try it with a guy that has no pets, no kids, no wife and unlimited minutes but my luck a bird would fly in the window or something… hehehe.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s