The kinds of men we sometimes find on dating sites: warning offensive humans inside.

cheesy-bar-guy

 

Oh this was easy folks, the boys and men just lined up for this shit list without hesitation in fact I would argue some of them will never be OFF such a list and others were just begging for it. It has taken me less than forty eight hours to come into virtual contact with these people and that is too close for my liking.

I weep for humanity. Here is a small sample of chats and emails from AFF and CL:

The Law Student: This law student is starting off his career path in the right direction before he graduates, once he gets his degree he will learn how to go about doing this to people without asking,  and without getting caught while using legal speak. What put him on the list: can I roofie you and fuck you while you’re unconscious and maybe take video? What a charmer this one is, I almost said yes right on the spot.

The Brazilian: hey I am a fan of any person that has step foot off the continent and I am far more likely to get along with someone that has lived in several countries and experienced other cultures. He wanted to go hiking and it seemed harmless till he asked: could you bring some coke I need it to stay hard for a long good fuck. I have always thought Viagra was bad but this guy can’t even bring his own.

The Italian: that doesn’t even speak Italian but it is a part of his identity so I begrudge him nothing. For the life of me cannot seem to get him to remember my name or use it. He insists on calling me “Bella” and says “ciao” every time he signs off in his emails but what got him on the list: I’m going to give you some spicy hot Italian meat. And he wasn’t meaning dinner ladies!

The Navy Seal: I know a lot of you have the uniform fetish thing going on and I understand. However I believe that people who say they have served or are in the military and are not should be drawn and quartered. I am going to tell you a secret, if ever you met a Navy Seal chances are if he was real, you would not have known unless you were in a position to know. How he made the list: I am a Navy Seal sniper but his picture clearly has him breaking 240lbs and he is shorter than me. I have more combat experience than this guy just by stepping into my chicken coup ever day with a treat (my 14 chickens love couscous and will kung fu fly at your head with sharp beaks and nails).

Mr Sex me up: oh yes he actually used those words. This guy is oozing desperation and try as I might to get him to tell me something about himself, what he would enjoy doing on our first date all he could ask me was about anal, blow jobs and my tits. This sadly is expected online but what put him on the list: I want to eat out your dirty ass hole. Wow, umm, I would think he would just be happy if a girl touched his pee pee but this guy is deserving of my super-duper blueberry bran muffins post digestion.

 

Now I am not including the pictures because it would be too cruel but know for a fact that I have received the follow photos:

Three different men with their gun collections: one man went so far as to include a photo of his most recent kill on a hunting trip. That was not a clean kill…

The messiest bedroom I have ever seen in my life, though he was sending a picture of his penis, I could not find the floor and I am pretty sure I could smell it from here…

One man who was trying so hard to be creative with his cock shot but was in fact trying to distract from his oozing sores and inflamed red… *gag* I can’t go on… *gag*

A penis that I can only describe as an ‘innie’…

A picture from his holiday in a third world shit hole with a group of CHEAP street whores…

Five pictures of tattoos and none of them were good…

10 comments on “The kinds of men we sometimes find on dating sites: warning offensive humans inside.

  1. B says:

    Now that was funny. I got a mental picture of each of them and all I can think of is how low some will go to get a woman and not realize how bad of a douche they sound. Thanks for the laugh this morning.

    • Pyx says:

      You are most welcome for the laugh!
      I think the internet has done something to the human brain, in fact I would argue that we of a particular age are not yet fully equipped to be cyborg – the upcoming generation, yes!

      I usually end up asking these guys: before the internet how did you meet women? Because I would bet there is no way any of them would say this shit to my face.

  2. 'Tis says:

    oh Pyx, I feel for you having to go through this but damn that was funny. Agreed, btw about the guy trying to pass himself off as prior military. Scum of the earth I say.

    • Pyx says:

      I feel for me too. I did not need these guys to know I have it great with PC – but you do get the idea why my reaction to start early was there because these are frogs that are not even going to get a kiss.

      yeah I can understand WHY they think they want to say such things but my whole point is: want to be a soldier? then join!

  3. kdaddy23 says:

    Reading this just makes me ashamed to be male! I know I would never, ever, behave in such a manner, knowing that other guys do not only makes it harder for the genuine and honest guys to hook up with a hot woman (like you, Pyx) but it just makes us look bad, like being horny activates our dicks and deactivates our brains…

    These three are a clear indication and proof that their mother should have swallowed…

    • Pyx says:

      Don’t be ashamed, we can certainly write an entry on the games women play in the virtual world as well. Our little monkey brains just do not process things correctly when we are on this side of the screen.

      I think this makes genuine guys stand out but the sad truth is when we do come across them we are in the habit of expecting them turn into douchebags – we become hesitant and believe that longer chat times equals ‘knowing’ someone more. When in reality you will know more (or if you will fuck someone) about someone by spending two minutes in a room with them.

      These are the guys you hope end up chatting up their moms! hehehe now that would be a hard lesson to get over.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Yeah, that’s the whole thing: When you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail and a lot of us decent guys get hammered because of the douchebag you ran across first.

  4. The Hook says:

    When it comes to the modern dating scene, it really is a jungle out there, right?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s