Tuesday’s ‘I am going to hate him anyway’ date was just that. I cannot really look harshly on Jim because I didn’t look at him as a potential candidate for much but all things considered I am grateful for him showing up and playing his part: though he had no clue what his part was.
It did not matter much to me which category I chose to find a date, what mattered was someone that seemed harmless and wasn’t sporting a gun rack in the back of his truck or a neck tattoo. I found his ad in the platonic section – company, dinner and ‘we will see where it leads’ was the gist of his entry. Now I had every intention of paying for my own meal so going out to dinner was fine with me, there was NO WAY I was entertaining him in my home.
He showed up, shook my hand and seemed rather quiet on the drive – I chalk this up to shock that I got into his car willingly and didn’t combat roll out of the vehicle at any time – but once we got the pub he became a bit more talkative. As the waiter made his way back to our table to take our order Jim loudly proclaimed that ‘my tits looked even better’ than in the picture I sent him. The waiter and I shared a knowing look: this man is not getting his penis touched tonight and everyone else around us pretty much looked as though they were expecting dinner and a show.
Now I am going to give you guys a really big key to unlocking the pants of most intelligent woman out there: if you spend X amount of time bitching about the women that were in your life, even if they stole your truck and killed your dog, chances are pretty good we won’t bother with you. This guy had ever possible bad relationship in the past and of course none of it was his fault. Me? I get to brag that I have had nothing but good experiences but that is because I pride myself on being a great judge of character.
He then seemed curious to know what I thought of him: I ordered myself another glass of wine. I had to weigh the reality that I needed this guy to drive me home and the fact that he was never going to get any carefully. The waiter was very attentive, thankfully, and this annoyed Jim – a good waiter knows his clients situation and might be in distress, he will know when to give them space and he will know when to ask if they being held against their will.
Poor Jim, what did I think of him? Nothing. I wasn’t feeling rage, I wasn’t feeling entertained or impressed, I wasn’t feeling as though it was a complete waste of time either because the meal was okay! ‘So far you appear to be a great example of why the internet and dating do not always mix and will ruin all human kind but I give credit to anyone that puts forth the effort and shows up’
He thought about that for two minutes and looked confused. I put my hands on the table and leaned in close to ensure that everyone else around us was not privy to my explanation ‘you seem to have great human potential but next time you are so fortunate as to have a woman sitting across from you, regardless of where you met her, it is impolite to point out how great her tits look. Unless you are slipping dollar bills into her Gstring’
He tried his best to be ‘sorry’ and turn it into a compliment, that girls usually send outdates pictures, pictures that look better blah blah blah but I was not there to make him feel comfortable either – craigslist or not I know guys might believe they are giving us ladies a ‘compliment’ but instead revealing the lack of experience they have with women; so I was just helping him out!
He paid for dinner though I offered my end, I did however ensure to leave extra for the waiter. I was very much looking forward to getting home and back to my Xbox and my bottle of wine. He parked the car in the driveway and I thanked him for taking me out however I remained extremely straight forward in my mood of indifference: I am usually up for fucking people I don’t necessarily like but I am sorry that I am not even up for that tonight. He laughed nervously and said ‘okay??’ and all I could do was smile. He did try to kiss me but I offered him a cheek, he pushed his nose into my hair and said I smelled good and I let him linger there a moment while he touched my boob: what? He did pay for dinner.
‘You aren’t going to call me are you?’ he asked as I opened the door. ‘I can say with all certainty no’ for some reason I winked… odd. I bid him goodnight, another thank you and best of luck on his endeavors.
Ahh my dear sweet loving and tender bottle of red wine waiting there for me silently without complaint or request, how I love thee! I tore my clothing off, showered the ‘ick’ off and got myself comfortable for a night of continual numbness. I laughed a few times at the event that had taken place but even the joy of killing aliens on my video game didn’t inspire a reaction. Unresponsiveness…
I was on my second glass of wine when PC paged my yahoo and though I had no intention of even talking about my ‘I am going to hate him anyway’ date he managed to get a few ‘I don’t know’ out of me. I got another glass of wine and had to admit to him and myself that the whole thing is just shitty – and I also had to admit that the whole endeavor with his ‘support’ felt a bit cruel. I can’t remember what else I said – I do remember something about a laser pointer and Senate budget. Oh well, strangely I felt better, felt something, after talking to him so that was nice I guess.
Tomorrow night is Alex and right now I am choosing to stay in my state of indifference, there are some realities to all of this: Alex and I get along, does that mean he deserves to be my go to guy when PC is busy up till he leaves town and then I can try to see if we get serious? Does Alex deserve a request that he wait till PC is gone? Who the hell would! And should I be considering ending things with PC now giving Alex an actual chance?
Yeah I get it, people might think Poly is about fucking a bunch of people all at once but it’s not, these are real relationships and I HATE to set anyone up to fail (Jim aside) when they are deserving of more. I don’t want to juggle three men, three relationships, at once and logically right now I am not at my best. I am fine with my partners (PC and D) involving other men in our play time if we are together but Alex isn’t a play thing material. If PC were not in the picture there would very likely be a couple of other people: when I didn’t have someone I was serious about I ‘dated’.
I have always said I do best with 3.