ccfbghTuesday’s ‘I am going to hate him anyway’ date was just that. I cannot really look harshly on Jim because I didn’t look at him as a potential candidate for much but all things considered I am grateful for him showing up and playing his part: though he had no clue what his part was.

It did not matter much to me which category I chose to find a date, what mattered was someone that seemed harmless and wasn’t sporting a gun rack in the back of his truck or a neck tattoo. I found his ad in the platonic section – company, dinner and ‘we will see where it leads’ was the gist of his entry. Now I had every intention of paying for my own meal so going out to dinner was fine with me, there was NO WAY I was entertaining him in my home.

He showed up, shook my hand and seemed rather quiet on the drive – I chalk this up to shock that I got into his car willingly and didn’t combat roll out of the vehicle at any time – but once we got the pub he became a bit more talkative. As the waiter made his way back to our table to take our order Jim loudly proclaimed that ‘my tits looked even better’ than in the picture I sent him. The waiter and I shared a knowing look: this man is not getting his penis touched tonight and everyone else around us pretty much looked as though they were expecting dinner and a show.

Now I am going to give you guys a really big key to unlocking the pants of most intelligent woman out there: if you spend X amount of time bitching about the women that were in your life, even if they stole your truck and killed your dog, chances are pretty good we won’t bother with you. This guy had ever possible bad relationship in the past and of course none of it was his fault. Me? I get to brag that I have had nothing but good experiences but that is because I pride myself on being a great judge of character.

He then seemed curious to know what I thought of him: I ordered myself another glass of wine. I had to weigh the reality that I needed this guy to drive me home and the fact that he was never going to get any carefully. The waiter was very attentive, thankfully, and this annoyed Jim – a good waiter knows his clients situation and might be in distress, he will know when to give them space and he will know when to ask if they being held against their will.

Poor Jim, what did I think of him? Nothing. I wasn’t feeling rage, I wasn’t feeling entertained or impressed, I wasn’t feeling as though it was a complete waste of time either because the meal was okay! ‘So far you appear to be a great example of why the internet and dating do not always mix and will ruin all human kind but I give credit to anyone that puts forth the effort and shows up’

He thought about that for two minutes and looked confused. I put my hands on the table and leaned in close to ensure that everyone else around us was not privy to my explanation ‘you seem to have great human potential but next time you are so fortunate as to have a woman sitting across from you, regardless of where you met her, it is impolite to point out how great her tits look. Unless you are slipping dollar bills into her Gstring’

He tried his best to be ‘sorry’ and turn it into a compliment, that girls usually send outdates pictures, pictures that look better blah blah blah but I was not there to make him feel comfortable either – craigslist or not I know guys might believe they are giving us ladies a ‘compliment’ but instead revealing the lack of experience they have with women; so I was just helping him out!

He paid for dinner though I offered my end, I did however ensure to leave extra for the waiter. I was very much looking forward to getting home and back to my Xbox and my bottle of wine. He parked the car in the driveway and I thanked him for taking me out however I remained extremely straight forward in my mood of indifference: I am usually up for fucking people I don’t necessarily like but I am sorry that I am not even up for that tonight. He laughed nervously and said ‘okay??’ and all I could do was smile. He did try to kiss me but I offered him a cheek, he pushed his nose into my hair and said I smelled good and I let him linger there a moment while he touched my boob: what? He did pay for dinner.

‘You aren’t going to call me are you?’ he asked as I opened the door. ‘I can say with all certainty no’ for some reason I winked… odd. I bid him goodnight, another thank you and best of luck on his endeavors.

Ahh my dear sweet loving and tender bottle of red wine waiting there for me silently without complaint or request, how I love thee! I tore my clothing off, showered the ‘ick’ off and got myself comfortable for a night of continual numbness. I laughed a few times at the event that had taken place but even the joy of killing aliens on my video game didn’t inspire a reaction. Unresponsiveness…

I was on my second glass of wine when PC paged my  yahoo and though I had no intention of even talking about my ‘I am going to hate him anyway’ date he managed to get a few ‘I don’t know’ out of me. I got another glass of wine and had to admit to him and myself that the whole thing is just shitty – and I also had to admit that the whole endeavor with his ‘support’ felt a bit cruel. I can’t remember what else I said – I do remember something about a laser pointer and Senate budget. Oh well, strangely I felt better, felt something, after talking to him so that was nice I guess.

Tomorrow night is Alex and right now I am choosing to stay in my state of indifference, there are some realities to all of this:  Alex and I get along, does that mean he deserves to be my go to guy when PC is busy up till he leaves town and then I can try to see if we get serious? Does Alex deserve a request that he wait till PC is gone? Who the hell would! And should I be considering ending things with PC now giving Alex an actual chance?

Yeah I get it, people might think Poly is about fucking a bunch of people all at once but it’s not, these are real relationships and I HATE to set anyone up to fail (Jim aside) when they are deserving of more. I don’t want to juggle three men, three relationships, at once and logically right now I am not at my best. I am fine with my partners (PC and D) involving other men in our play time if we are together but Alex isn’t a play thing material. If PC were not in the picture there would very likely be a couple of other people: when I didn’t have someone I was serious about I ‘dated’.

I have always said I do best with 3.

9 comments on “boobs

  1. kdaddy23 says:

    You know, it does seem like you’re setting these ‘dates’ up to fail before you even go out with them, although your first date was just a dummy – even I wouldn’t have told you how nice your tits were while sitting in a restaurant full of people so he didn’t help his cause any by being inept.

    But, yeah, in your own words, you were gonna hate him no matter what he did; he failed before he even screwed up. And this next guy isn’t going to fair any better if you’re still in the same mode. What does it take to date you and without failing before the date even happens? You remember me telling you a while ago that I thought you were scary? Yeah, you really are…

    • Pyx says:

      I dont think of Jim as a date really, more of a meeting because like I said i knew I was going to hate the first guy on principle. Alex however I will not set up to fail because as I said in this entry PC might very well be the one that has to go … I know this is a potential outcome, I am realistic enough to know that I could stop seeing PC now, and no longer have sex with him, it will increase my chances (by virtual of time alone) to meet someone else.

      I have not hidden the situation from Alex though with Jim it didnt matter – I am very straightforward that way and feel that I am reasonable to Alex in that he is more than encourage to say ‘screw this I’m going home’ LOL

      He is aware of the unknown but unlikely variable: PC could get a job and stay in this state. Though I feel highly unlikely what I am not willing to do is give Alex the impression that PC still matters to me… I dont want to be too casual with this fact but I am not one for sharing anyhow so… it is going to be about balance.

      LOL@ the scary… I like guys that are smart, I like flirting but it seems to be a lost art these days, it is almost as though these guys are speaking text: they are saying what they would say online and are overlooking the human element. I am more than boobs dude.

      I am really big on etiquette – please and thank you, and guys who can give a compliment without expecting one in return… ever get the impression that people are giving them so they hear one back?

      I will think more about this… I do have a soft spot for the quiet ones, the shy ones and the ones that holding back a bit – I know in there is a deviant but dont give it to me all at once, I like to take my time and unwrap him…

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Hmm… since you seem to have a lot of free time on your hands, perhaps you need to create an “Application to be with Pyx” so guys can fill it out and be checked out just like they were applying for a job – it would save you from going out with them and having to be subjected to their juvenile attempts to charm you.

        Poor Jim didn’t stand a chance and I’m kinda mystified as why you’d have a ‘meeting’ with someone you had already flunked on principle – and what principle would that be, by the way? This inquiring mind wouldn’t mind knowing.

        Why would you hide the fact that PC matters to you? Um, that’s not being very straightforward… is it? That’s an odd combination, hon, being straightforward but also not being one for sharing; balance I understand… but this seems a little weird even to me. See, I have this impression of you being a very straightforward person, a woman who knows exactly what she wants and one who knows she can ‘demand’ it and get it – if I were interviewing with you for the possible open position in your life, I would expect nothing less of you… but this bit of shadiness with Alex – hiding that PC matters to you – kinda throws me for a little loop – it just seems very un-Pyx-like to me.

        Of course, darling one, you gotta handle your business in the best way you see fit… but I’m not beyond tugging on your chain a little because while I understand what you’re doing, I’m not sure I understand why you’re going about it in a way that does fit what I’ve been learning about you.

    • Pyx says:

      No no no – Alex IS aware of my feeling for PC and what is going on.

      “I have not hidden the situation from Alex though with Jim it didnt matter”

      Granted I am not getting into any deep conversations about it with Alex, he isnt even yet a friend or much of anything right now but should he ask I would do my best to answer him. As for Jim’s failure even before Jim was chosen I explained as best as I could in one of the previous entries: I am not going to like the first guy I go out with just on principle because he is not PC.

      You have to remember this relationship is not coming to end because he beat me, or because he lied or caused me some injustice (nor did I to him) but ending because of logistics. Jim and Alex and whoever else shouldn’t be happening right now.

      For a poly person who is fulfilled with her two partners going out now and doing this does not FEEL good. PC is not yet gone – had I broken up with a lover or if he were a more casual lover I would normally begin my search early like this but for some reason it feels wrong this time. This I can not explain hence all the writing.

      I think because of the early morning hours we might have misread a comment or something… so I do not feel the urgent need to reply to every valid point you made had I in fact kept such things from Alex. It would be un Pyx like, you are correct.

      So the following should read:

      Though I feel (it) highly unlikely what I am not willing to do is give Alex the impression that PC (does not) still matters to me

      phew… this is what I get for reading too many blogs, trying to write my own and doing email at the same time! Lesson learned.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        You gotta learn how to master multitasking, sweetie – and I do appreciate you explaining it to me – because you didn’t have to.

        Of all the female bloggers I follow, you’re right at the top of my “most interesting” list – just thought you should know that.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        I almost forgot to tell you that I do hope things go well with Alex even if I now firmly believe that you are certifiably insane…

  2. 'Tis says:

    you create the best visuals. I can totally picture you standing there put off as he cops a feel of your boob. lol

    I’m hopeful the date tomorrow with Alex goes better. 🙂

    • Pyx says:

      Yeah I was trying to look out and see if I could catch a gimps of the comet in the night sky… but he did buy me dinner. If I were not indifferent I might have even dry humped him or jerked him off but I wasn’t interested. Thankfully he was a boob man and not a butt guy, it would have looked silly for me to let him touch that!

      I know my date with Alex is going to go well – he has been very polite, not being too invasive but has ‘checked in’ to make sure I am still up for it. In fact he asked me for a favour before we go out to dinner that will melt your heart… but more on that tomorrow. or rather later today. I have to find a way to get to sleep before five am…
      I should be sketching something right now but I was behind on blogging and I feel more talkative than I have.

      • 'Tis says:

        I’m looking forward to hearing all about it. Melt my heart, hmmmm? I have been rather mushy lately, not sure where that’s been coming from. I’m beginning to think I’m going through early stages of menopause, not sure I’m ready for that though or I’m having an identity crisis. That may be more realistic, but I’m still in partial denial since I think that is what it is and I haven’t had a chance to over think it yet. lol

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s