Pyx answers her mail: masturbation

dill

Q: When you masturbate what is your method of choice?

A: Method of choice? To not masturbate and have actual sex is my preferred choice. I am not a big fan of masturbation alone, with a partner it is hot but I have to admit that there are times a quick one off is needed.

If and when I do give in I am rather eager to enjoy myself but sometimes fail to complete the transaction. I like the way my pussy feels, I like the way it smells and tastes so I usually start off with my hand and fingers. I am not completely shaved so I can be rather playful with myself and just lightly pet through my well-trimmed … there is no way to answer this and not be graphic is there?!

I pay attention to the whole area and not just the clit – if it is urgent and I am in a rush or sneaking off in the middle of something with people in the house I will be more direct and use a vibrator. If a particular conversation has me slick I will subtlety move my hips while seated in my chair and that usually works. If a particular mood strikes that requires more time I actually prefer my breasts to be exposed or full naked on the bed grinding away on a pillow… okay that’s enough now. Move along.

3 comments on “Pyx answers her mail: masturbation

  1. 'Tis says:

    I’ve enforced a no masturbation rule with myself unless B and I are playing together about a month ago. I had a feeling that by me doing it so much it had desensitized myself for when we are doing the real thing and so far that theory has proven correct. Since banning myself, I find I am more sensitive to his touch and can cum more easily.

    That being said, when masturbating I enjoy taking the time to explore my body before getting to the deed also and grinding on a pillow always does the trick. Wonder if that’s universal for women? lol

    • Pyx says:

      My husband always finds it strange I do not enjoy masturbating, though it is perfectly natural and healthy, I think my kink introduction to sex at a young age changed the way I treated my own body and the way I saw sex with others: it is a waste of bodily fluids which to me have value and energy that I find best saved to someone I enjoy.

      I like waiting, I enjoy the self-denial and being on edge till I can pounce so to speak – the biggest complaint about male/female sex is that we ladies need a lot of warm up time… guys are good to go when they are ready. I find this is why a lot of women seem to be … umm how do I say this nicely – it was just getting good when he finished – our timing is going to be off. So holding on to that build up I find cuts down on that time difference.

      I am not sure about the theory of desensitization because I am convinced it would be more in the brain – when we are pleasuring ourselves we know what the end game is and we can get ourselves there easier than giving in and it being dependent on what someone else is doing to us. I feel that if this theory had some truth to it we are fucked regardless because panties rubbing and years of whipping ourselves after we pee do not change the way things work…

      Pussy doesn’t wear out and having worked with the sexual lives of others for so long, I still have a bit of a knee jerk reactions to the paternalistic, though outdated, idea that a man needed to suppress a woman’s desire by telling them a vibrator would change the way they interact with penis: this is still quite common actually I had a 40 year old woman wanting advice on her first vibrator because all her life she believed it would make sex less enjoyable.

      Quite the opposite I would argue that masturbation puts us not only in touch with how we THINK about sex and arousal but how our bodies react to certain stimulation. Sex can become more difficult with a male partner if the woman remains unable to communicate what feels good and what works with her body – if he is not hitting the right spot the way the vibrator does is it the fault of the vibrator or the woman for not saying ‘not like that, but like this’

      I think the use of a vibrator is straight to the point whereas sex with a man is about what they do – to me is it comparing apples to oranges. Our brain KNOWS the vibrator will get us off, it is a direct hit and how it is going to get us off but we never seem to have the same faith that our sex partners will… not always a dependable/predictable direct hit.

      I could see the pillow grinding being common but perhaps not talked about like we are here? LOL There are logical reasons why I like being on top so when I have no one to grind on why not a pillow. I think most of us girls remember rubbing up on such things at a young age… it just feels good!

      • 'Tis says:

        Hmmmm, you make a really good point about it being a mental thing vs. desensitization. I’m more than convinced I fall into this category and even though I consider myself a sexual person, I believe I also hinder myself from having a full experience a good majority of the time. Until recently anyway. Yay!
        Hell I don’t know, maybe my increased orgasms and sensitivity don’t have anything to do with the absence of masturbation and have more to do with the buildup of our sexual activities. You are giving me all kinds of things to think about it with this one.

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