That is the Chateau motto and one can only be somewhat prepared well in advance for anything.
I do not make New Year’s resolution; I find that should I decide to change something anytime is a good time. Resolutions have always felt like promises that I cannot keep no matter how symbolic the changing of a number can be and I hate to break a promise even to myself.
Best intentions aside there is beauty in my failure, long ago I learned to love my imperfections and appreciate my unorthodoxy because that is who I am. Every scar, emotional or physical, much like my tattoos, are marks on a map to stories of where I have been. I have done my best to keep other parts of myself free from such modifications, and though this proves difficult for those around me, I still have a few places where there is space to write.
In the coming year I will be one year closer to approaching forty with a certain dignity; I find the age reflects a victory I never expected to see or planned for. I have put myself in situation and places that others did not survive. I did nothing better or right – it was simply luck – but had I known I would live this long I think there are things I would have done differently. It is terribly difficult on those around us when we live in the moment and only see time in segments from a past experience and not the possibility of a future one but I remain ever hopeful that patience wins out and we manage to find people who give us cause to look beyond a week, a month or a year.
Another year has passed without regret because today I am still here, I am loved but most importantly I am able to still love others. I am evidence that though I had never planned for such a life it is truly beautiful and I am happy; I am in control of myself and how things turn out. I might have hung up my cape but that was a job I used to do it was not who I am – I am the principled person that did those things and I feel pretty fucking great about still being that person.
I wish to share my motto with everyone – let yourself love someone maybe you shouldn’t, make a fantasy come true without anyone else’s approval because you want it, let things happen to you and live and not simply exist- let the adventures begin!