Always an adventure

Pyx picture 2012

Pyx picture 2012

That is the Chateau motto and one can only be somewhat prepared well in advance for anything.

I do not make New Year’s resolution; I find that should I decide to change something anytime is a good time. Resolutions have always felt like promises that I cannot keep no matter how symbolic the changing of a number can be and I hate to break a promise even to myself.

Best intentions aside there is beauty in my failure, long ago I learned to love my imperfections and appreciate my unorthodoxy because that is who I am. Every scar, emotional or physical, much like my tattoos, are marks on a map to stories of where I have been. I have done my best to keep other parts of myself free from such modifications, and though this proves difficult for those around me, I still have a few places where there is space to write.

In the coming year I will be one year closer to approaching forty with a certain dignity; I find the age reflects a victory I never expected to see or planned for. I have put myself in situation and places that others did not survive. I did nothing better or right – it was simply luck – but had I known I would live this long I think there are things I would have done differently. It is terribly difficult on those around us when we live in the moment and only see time in segments from a past experience and not the possibility of a future one but I remain ever hopeful that patience wins out and we manage to find people who give us cause to look beyond a week, a month or a year.

Another year has passed without regret because today I am still here, I am loved but most importantly I am able to still love others. I am evidence that though I had never planned for such a life it is truly beautiful and I am happy; I am in control of myself and how things turn out. I might have hung up my cape but that was a job I used to do it was not who I am – I am the principled person that did those things and I feel pretty fucking great about still being that person.

I wish to share my motto with everyone –  let yourself love someone maybe you shouldn’t, make a fantasy come true without anyone else’s approval because you want it, let things happen to you and live and not simply exist- let the adventures begin!

 

 

 

 

2 comments on “Always an adventure

  1. 'Tis says:

    I don’t even know where to start. Of course there are many reasons for the lack of focus, alcohol being #1, then there are the orgasms I received earlier (but I’m not rubbing that in or anything) 😉 than of course your message in your post with which I agree with 100% and then you post this picture that is to die for sexy. Well Fuck ME Pyx! You do know I am into pussy also right? Maybe I should dress up in B’s Navy uniform and post a shot. haha

    OKAY! Let me try and focus for just a minute. Let me go back and clarify. I don’t do resolutions either, at least New Years Ones. I’m still a work in progress when it comes to body issues and those range from deep seeded size 0 step-mom comparing herself to me as a pubescent kid to a new pregnant teenager gaining 60 lbs with her first kid and never knowing what her body might of looked liked had she just grown into a woman naturally without the pregnancy or expectations or pressures of societies standards. All that being said I have made some recent modifications to said body for MYSELF. Not for B or anyone else, but for ME to feel as confidant and comfortable with my shell as I do on the inside.

    No Regrets either! It’s been a hell of a year, not one I want to relive but I’ve learned a lot, about B, about myself and about us as a unit. All of which I would never change. We have each discovered new things about one another (great things) that most couples that have been married 20+ years could only dream of.

    Blogging is new to me, a new found freedom this year. Courtesy of an EX of all people, but has become a lifesaver of sorts. And in this strange way, I the person who does not make friends with anyone because my thinking and non conventional ways are to extreme has found like minded people or even semi-like minded people that I feel drawn too. God forbid a connection is forming of some kind and you are of course one of them. All joking aside, I am truly thankful for that. Truly thankful that every so often whether it be daily or a couple weeks in between I get this little notification of this really cool Canadian chick who makes me think deep, entertains me, challenges me and turns me on. Well if that just happened the last few months of 2013 than I am truly blessed for what 2014 holds.

    Happy New Years to you and yours (which is quote the impressive list I might add)!

    xoxo

  2. The Hook says:

    Nice pic, Private Pyx!

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