Can a man and a woman be just friends?


At any point in time one or both of them could be married.

At any point in time one or both of them could be single.

They would be in regular communication with each other: texting, facebook, email, IM that sort of thing and not friends with the other’s spouse or partner.

They are friends so more than likely they would enjoy some of the same activities: bowling, movies, going out to dinner that sort of thing alone and not in a group setting.

And does their sexual orientation matter: if she is a lesbian but friends with a man vs a hetero single woman friends with a man.

Can a man and a woman be friends without a sexual element.

11 comments on “Can a man and a woman be just friends?

  1. kdaddy23 says:

    Of course they can even if people insist that it can’t be done. Could I be friends with a lesbian? Uh-huh – I happen to be friends with two lesbians so while their orientation makes for some interesting conversation – and I just pick on them because I can – that they’re lesbians doesn’t matter… but their personality does!

    • Pyx says:

      I was reading a horrible rant written by a woman who thought her husband lacked respect for her by being in contact with a female – he argues they are just friends – she thought it reasonable to request he no longer be friends with her.

      Of course it was pointed out that there is often a double standard so I was curious.

      My husband thinks no, women and men can not be just friends without a sexual element because a guy often puts a woman in the ‘I would do her’ category and she can stay there till such a time as it might happen. That a friend would not have sex sex with a female friend if asked but he is doubtful that a man would say no. (he often plays devil’s advocate but he sort of has a point)

      I argue that perhaps it might come with age – but then I can not think of a guy friend (and I have a ton of them) that wouldnt fuck me if I asked. I have never stayed friends with an ex either but I do have guy friends that I have had a sexual encounter with ( i tend to want to get it out of the way) though it certainly does chance the dynamic.

      So do you have female friends and does L have male friends?

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Yes, we do and that we do isn’t a problem in our relationship at all… because it’s not supposed to be. I can’t tell her who she can be friends with any more than she could tell me that.

        Neither of us worries about any sexual stuff because all that does is cast doubts when there’s no reason to. We’re both huge flirts and this, too, isn’t a problem – our friends like to talk shit and we give as good as we get – and because it’s fun and something we have in common where our opposite sex friends are concerned.

        I do know that if any of our combined friends ever got it in their heads to bed us, well, they’d wind up biting off more than they can chew!

  2. 'Tis says:

    I know it’s absolutely possible to have friends that are of the opposite sex. Matter of fact, most of my friends have always been male and it has always been that way for me. Going all the way back to elementary school. I’m not a girls girl. Most women and I don’t click, not by choice mind you it’s just the way it is. Now that being said. I do not partake in one on one activities with them, other than going out to lunch together.

    Also, I’m not sure if ones sexual orientation matters, but it is interesting that my son (who is gay) would have a best friend that is female and they have been so since jr. high.

    • Pyx says:

      Okay – great comment and I will get back to it – but right now my question is: why dont you do one on one activities with them if they are your friends? Are they just acquaintances? or are these the people you go to when you need help, someone to talk too, or want to go out and let loose? Do you text with them?

      • 'Tis says:

        All of the men are married. Wives aren’t generally thrilled with their husbands having female friends. It doesn’t bother me, but it is out of respect for how their spouses might feel about me asking them if they want to go catch a movie.

        I don’t have any single men friends, it might be different if I did.

        I do text or email with them and can go to them with questions or problems. I’ll admit it doesn’t happen very often though.

      • Pyx says:

        I am just making my ‘interesting’ face and stroking my chin… hehehehe

      • 'Tis says:

        and….. that’s it, just ‘interesting’?

        Why do I sense you want to ask something else or make an observation? 🙂

      • Pyx says:

        Oh I am always thinking – and I have to wonder if some of us ladies do not complicate things that need not be complicated.

        I grew up as one of the guys, I always was (though a woman can never truly be one of the guys) but I guess I never kept myself at a distance because of their female partners because… that’s just not what friends do. Don’t get me wrong there are a couple of guys that I stopped hanging out with because their partner was uncomfortable but that was after asking talking about it. Why be friends with someone that is limited to or going to suffer for it?

        I guess I wonder how many of those types of gf’s have guy friends they believe they are just friends with… lol

        I do go camping, drinking, playing pool, build things, cut wood, concerts with my male friends – without my husband present- i just wonder how much of this friendship is from the fem side: we believe we can be friends and how much of it comes from the male side: she is my friend so you gf are just going to have to deal.

        but then we arent your every day kind of girls are we.
        I would rather go ice fishing than shopping any day!

      • 'Tis says:

        I too grew up as one of the guys. Hell I even had boys sleeping over as a kid, instead of girls because they were my friends. I was the girl that played baseball, not softball and was the only girl in the league. I learned how to shoot a gun by 5 and was baiting my own hook the year before that.

        It wasn’t always that way for me, keeping a distance between me and my guy friends because of their girlfriends. I think part of me was a bit naïve to the way relationships worked, I never understood why girls didn’t like me until it was pointed out by another girl that they were jealous of the fact that their bfs wanted to spend time with me because I was “fun” to hang out with. They only wanted to be with their gfs when they wanted some. Of course the girls always assumed that their bfs were cheating with me behind their backs and that was so far from the truth. But you can’t convince people of things they don’t want to believe.

        Women are just weird creatures and I don’t get a lot of what sets them ablaze, I honestly think I am missing a key gene when it comes to certain things. lol And you are right, certainly not an everyday kind of girl. I’ve never been ice fishing, but I’d sure as hell take a crack at it before shopping any day.

  3. Michael says:

    I’m sure it happens plenty…just not in the majority of cases. It is probably men that cause the platonic balance to breakdown. A woman may feel like she has a guy friend and she is only interested in being friends. If the guy is thinking he is attracted to her and wants to fuck her then the friendship is not “just friends”…even if he is only acting like a friend. The sexual intent is there and he is working on it….

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