PC and I are headed out shortly for a winter camping expedition.
I cannot stop you from laughing as I have not been able to stop my husband from laughing. However my husband is laughing for other reasons than you might think.
Yes certainly the recent five inches of snow fall is one but he knows me and he is rather certain that this little adventure will lead to my being found chewing on PC’s remains over a fire and pissed off for two weeks upon my return home.
No this is not about survival, being born of North Eastern extractions I have experience with snow survival but this is about my poor ability to work with others. I do not ‘work’ well with others and it is something I always struggle with. I try to let people do something their way without interfering but I often fail. It is not that I know better, because often I do not, it is because my brain works on some stupid frequency that puts everything into a grid … it’s mathematical but this means I often overlook the human element.
I know you are thinking ‘what woman doesn’t stand back and tell a man what to do’ but that is not what this is. You see it was my job to observe systems or rather a way of doing things that took 42 movements and cut it down to 32 or some such. What is the most efficient way to get from A to B and have everyone still accomplish a task with all their fingers and toes intact? What if anything can be removed or added to the process. Can we do X without so many parts or materials and still have the project be structurally sound.
In a poly relationship, and the argument could be made that the way I approach people is why I have one, I have to be very careful for several reasons. Not only do I feel a sense of responsibility to two people but also the relationship they have with each other. From time to time I must take them as a team, having each others best interest at heart.
On the surface you might think ‘good for you Pyx, your husband has no interest in going winter camping but PC does’ and that my husband is content knowing someone else is doing this with me so he can sit at home and watch porn (more like play xbox). Truth be told my husband holds a certain amount of … concern… for PC’s wellbeing. He carefully reminded me this morning that I should go ‘easy’ on PC, that I should occupy myself with another task while allowing PC to complete his own the way he sees fit. That I should, to the best of my ability, consider when to give in because I cannot bend the world to my will as I tend to become mired in a battle of wits with the universe: through heavy full body laughter my husband handed me the credit card and told me to get a room when I have run out of patience.
I was not offended nor were my feelings hurt, he knows I have survived harsher conditions he is just not sure that PC will survive me “I expect to see him walk in here with big Pyx boot prints all up and down his body” was the sentiment – and my husband is right.
That right there is an important part of this whole poly relationship thing, the physical pleasures of sex aside, and sometimes I do feel as though they gang up on me (humourously ) about my competitive nature, it is a wonderful but strange balance between three people.
I know what my faults are, I have had them all my life but I am thankful that my husband could put them in the context of PC – PC is not my husband, he has not been with me for x amount of years, nor have we attempted such a thing together. My husband and I have attempted such adventures, which might be why he refuses to camp with me and has little to do with snow. Seriously, he would go camping with me but he has worked some long hours and this is something PC and I have talked about doing for some time.
If you are the type of person that beats up on other people, being poly will not make it any less so, it will only provide you with another human being to beat up on. If you are the miserable sort, this will only spread that misery and come back on you twofold. If you do not trust your partner and their advice, involving someone else is not going to make things better.
It took my husband and me two years together, alone, to balance ourselves out before we involved someone else, though I have always been poly, I have not always been with my husband he was new to me. We had to know each other so that with a certain level of confidence we could get involved with someone else. Dare I say in my particular situation we each at some point in time become the body man – emotionally protecting the other. This morning he was simply looking out for PC.
My husband is not the kind of man my girlfriends (if I had any) would want for themselves, he does not turn heads nor is he rich but when he takes the time to do talk with me this way, he becomes even more spectacular in my eyes. It is not easy for a man to look at his wife, let alone any woman, and say ‘ watch yourself, you can become really bossy’ and not get punched in the nose let alone have it followed with ‘remember PC is important to you and he wants to do this with you not for you’
So yes, this adventure is not just about snow and winter camping, it is about so much more and I think I can do it. Oh please Lord help me do it without blowing shit up.