Pyx answers her mail: does it mean I’m gay?


Q: I was curious so I asked my girlfriend to put her finger in my butt and she sort of freaked out and asked if I was gay – am I?

A: now that I cleaned up the coffee that flew from my face, NO IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE GAY, but it does mean your girlfriend is a freaking moron.

Remember when I said your girlfriend was a moron, I didn’t mean it, she is at best uneducated about the male body and sexuality and probably projecting a misconception that a lot of people have: if a guy has anything to do with butt it’s gay.

Prostate massage benefits aside you were simply asking someone to try something with you and that is not a bad thing, shows a lot of trust on your part however once it is said you cannot take it back and it can impact your relationship. I really hope you are not feeling completely alienated by this and that she can get over her initial reaction.  You now have to ask yourself why should not be able to talk about such things with someone whom you believe has same liberties. Couples who cannot talk about sex can learn to talk about it but it requires a lot of patience on both of your parts.  When and how you ask someone to try things with you is also important, so it might be something you should consider bringing up again but not in the middle of a great blow job?

Then ask yourself how you can try this out yourself – yes having it be her finger is in itself a part of the fantasy but there are reasons we do it alone or buy a toy to help us out a little.



If you go this route, please start off with a smaller toy, something that is not going to disappear with a nice ridge like this and lots and lots and lots of lube! Lube is always the key to butt success regardless of gender. Oh and whatever you do, do not use one of her toys – it’s unsanitary and can lead to infection – what goes in the butt is for butt only!

Perfectly normal for you to be curious and or feel pleasure by having the prostate touched, it is a pleasurable center than can increase sexual sensations before and during ejaculation. You are not gay, wrong, or a freak for being curious or wanting this.

I personally enjoy men that will let me tickle their prostate but not all women/men will – so if she is totally against it, love and all its glory might not be worth blowing up over – pleasure yourself when you can! Sorry she freaked.

23 comments on “Pyx answers her mail: does it mean I’m gay?

  1. kdaddy23 says:

    You’re right – just because he might like her to finger his butt doesn’t even come close to making him gay and if she freaked out, well, she knows nothing about pleasuring a man, the selfish bitch…

    • Pyx says:

      Have you ever had a woman ask – I mean coming out to a woman as bisexual and all, there must have been a few that were ‘confused’ and had a negative first knee jerk reaction.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Yep, I’ve had women react that way when I’ve told them that I’m bisexual and some were, indeed, confused about it and I’ve had to explain to them that if I wanted to be with a guy, we wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place; after a while, it gets to be a major pain in the ass having to explain it all and knowing that sometimes it goes in one ear and out the other.

        Now, I’ve never asked a woman to finger my ass… but I’ve had quite a few just do it and I’ve never bothered to ask them why they did. In my poly relationship, my wife and our partners actually got a kick out of giving my butt a good fingering and more so when they’d have to hold me down because it just feels so good.

        Linda, now, she’s sneaky; she fingers me often and isn’t beyond shoving the butt plug into me when my attention is elsewhere. I remember her asking, “Why does this thing go in you so easy and I have to fight to get it in me?”

        My response: “I’ve had much bigger things in my ass, baby, and you haven’t.”

  2. Michael says:

    I think you nailed this one with the comment after spewing your coffee, ha!

  3. G says:

    James kept wanting my finger in his ass. I didn’t care but my husband teased us about it…Lame…
    Just because you like a physical sensation doesn’t mean you are gay, silly. It was fun for me, not sure if I found the prostate though.

    • Pyx says:

      You’re an awesome woman G!

      Why did D tease you about it? Have you tried it with D before? maybe he was projecting outward… humm.

      Oh even just touching the backdoor is pleasurable and always remember: curve your finger towards the front of their body and that hard lump… you got it! You can actually get some pretty good reactions by applying pressure on the outside of their body between the balls and anus…. i like to rub/push there lightly (or lick) and it seems to work…

      • G says:

        Thank you!
        D teased that I had my finger in his ass almost the whole night, it was sort of awkward for both of us but we all laughed it off. I was just enjoying James being so vocal, and he was enjoying everything I did so much.
        I definitely work playing with that spot to my advantage, that line of skin between the balls and anus, seems to work magic when I’m giving a bj. From the sounds he was making, I knew that James was wanting more so I went there and he just went crazy. So hot!!!

        before, and he likes anal, but he doesn’t really like it with me or ask me to do it.

  4. A great answer to a held misconception. Nothing wrong with prostrate message and if done right it can be quite pleasurable.

  5. 'Tis says:

    OMG… sooooooo! I have to admit I was once the moron. lol

    A slightly different situation, but still I was quite naive when it came to sex and sexuality. But I can remember thinking that B might be gay when he wanted to have anal sex with me. I know that sounds crazy, but I was 18 or 19 years old and hadn’t a fuckin clue. In my mind I thought gay meant anal sex. Makes me cringe at times how uneducated I was.

    • kdaddy23 says:

      Here’s a tip for ladies who have a guy that would want to be fingered: Finger cuffs. Think of them as gloves… but without the part for your hand. They’re normally used to protect fingers when they’ve been cut – but they’re made of the same material surgical gloves are and come in various sizes… because fingers aren’t all the same size. Ya just slip one on, give it a little lube, and the next thing you know, you’re tickling his prostate and, yes, making sure he’s squeaky clean (via enema) is the safe thing to do.

      Oh, yeah – it won’t make him gay – ever.

      • 'Tis says:

        That is good advice kdaddy! I have no issues “now” regarding anything anal, whether related to him or me. That was 20+ years ago and just the thoughts of a naive teenager.

        Over the years, I’ve actually embraced butt play and quite enjoy all aspects of it. We’ve been talking lately about getting a strap-on for me to use on him. Any recommendations there?

        I can imagine that for women with long nails or those that have concerns about hygiene, these little gems would come in quite handy.


      • kdaddy23 says:

        @Tis, if this is a guy who has never had the real thing in his butt, I’d suggest starting small; I’d also recommend training his butt first, starting with small butt plugs and working up to the largest one he can stand.

        I’ve seen strap-ons that scare the shit out of me – and I’ve had the real thing! You want to take it easy because the last thing he needs is a rectal tear – very nasty and dangerous.

        If a woman has long nails, using two finger cuffs may be in order and more so if she has pointy nails – at the least, I’d try to convince her to round them off.

        Regardless of nail length, it’s better to ease that finger into him instead of ramming it in like a dike’s being plugged. It doesn’t feel good and can take a guy right out of the mood in an eyeblink… unless pain is something he enjoys, of course.

      • 'Tis says:

        We’ve played throughout the years with different things. Fingers, butt plugs, prostate massagers, dildos, etc… Never the real thing though, not yet anyway. 🙂

        So for us this is the next step and something we are both interested in trying.

        Yeah, I don’t have long nails. But that is what I thought of for some reason when you mentioned finger cuffs. 🙂

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Well, if he thinks he’s ready, go for it! For added fun, make the selection together then give it to him real good!

      • 'Tis says:

        HAHA! I plan on it! 🙂

      • Pyx says:

        You rock. See I didnt even have to negotiate with you – you just jumped right in and took on the outsourcing yourself *teasing.

        great advice

      • kdaddy23 says:

        You got jokes – didn’t you get lost in the woods or something? Seriously, if a commenter asks me a question, I’ll answer; outsourcing requires an RFP…

      • Pyx says:

        Lots of lube, never enough lube… skip the anal ease stuff with numbing/heating agent (they just agitate sensitive flesh) …. i could go on about the butt forever! lol

      • 'Tis says:

        haha! yeah, we don’t use the heated stuff either. I’ve never been a fan of it and lots of lube makes a huge difference, for both of us. 🙂

    • Pyx says:

      I am pretty sure a lot of us now can look back and realize there are things we just didn’t understand – it’s why I can be rather lenient with people when it comes to sex.

      I think guys meet a girl they like and trust but can overlook the fact that this girl might actually have no clue or worse has honest fears – not a bad thing but it can freak some girls out.

      Ah the butt it is the grey area for so many when it comes to sex… hehehe

      • 'Tis says:

        I don’t think we have any grey areas left in our house and I rather like it that way. When our son came out as gay, the sex ed talk shifted from vaginas to butt. Thankfully I’d gotten over my initial fears of anal sex many, many moons ago and we were able to have a sit down talk without it being awkward or B and I being uneducated about it.

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