Stop that man! He is choking that baby…

Monster Cock!

A random picture of Monster cock I have not had sex with.

Or more than a handful of flesh I mistook for a six month old infant.

I love it when men ask me ‘what do you do for fun’ because I get to give them a list of obscure hobbies that occupy my time from which I derive pleasure. Of course they mean ‘sex’ because yes sex is fun however they sometimes forget that I am on the receiving end and there is nothing fun about trying to take eight inches of circumference in the tuchus.

I enjoy anal sex, it is not a hobby, but I might not enjoy anal sex with you.

I know boohoo right, this ‘poor’ guy is packing so much extra meat his mother thought she gave birth to twins and named them both. And as much as I can enjoy the moment of throbbing fear running through my crotch at the site of it, there are just some things that you know will be more challenging than pleasurable.

Yes we ladies are competitive even with ourselves, some cock requires us to walk around, figure out the logistics and do the math: Cock inches – vaginal canal + cervix location / lubrication = depth mounting position.  Ever see a fat girl try to get her ass into skinny jeans? Cock is no different; if the man is right oh we will find a way to make that thing fit, we are built to give birth. I can certainly make my pussy work both ways!

This goes for small cock too; I do not enjoy having to explain to someone that my favourite position really depends on the cock, its reach and its abilities. It can sound as though I am making a back alley transaction asking if ‘this is the good shit’ when really I’m not.

I know that men want to hear me say that I love cock, all cock and every cock be it in my hand, in my mouth, between my tits, in my ass or parked deep within my vestibule but I just cannot lie to them. I am not saying size matters in that I would turn a man down with average or below average size because I wouldn’t.  What I mean is there are cocks out there that require I eat carbs, do some yoga and put the oil can on the night stand.

And when they ask ‘what I like to do for fun’  I have no idea what I am about to be working with – yes for all the complaints about penis shots there is an upside to having one: I know I will be needing an ice pack when I am done.

Pre-emptively I might have to take some ibuprofen before he shows up so I can walk right in two days.

Post Script for Kdaddy: he wrecked my shit. I needed two days to recover and the glorious bastard did it again a week later. Please stop congratulating him I might have to resort to cuddling to make him stop. *wink

12 comments on “Stop that man! He is choking that baby…

  1. 'Tis says:

    Holy hell batman!!! Damn! I’m having trouble thinking about anything else but the size of his cock and fat girls trying to squeeze into skinny jeans. lol

  2. kdaddy23 says:

    Someone needs to wreck your shit as much as possible and it’s just right to congratulate any man who can do that to you… so I hope you remember how to cuddle… and you hope that would make him stop – I hope it leads to you getting your shit wrecked again.

    Sorry, my darling Pyx – wait, no I’m not – hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ah, just imagining you having to walk funny for two days gives me such a warm feeling inside!

  3. I talked to a man the other day who was looking for a woman who would see his cock as “a blessing and not a curse”. He said he’s a legitimate 10 1/2 inches and 2 3/4 around. This makes it difficult for him to find women who he can have good sex with. I actually believe him, because in my experience, super big cocks do male for difficult sex, vs the way porn would have you to believe.

    • Pyx says:

      Yes and buying condoms, thought it has gotten a bit easier with online orders, is difficult as well.

      Porn is stunt cunt and stunk cock – I would pitty any man/woman that believes porn to be a true/real reflection of sexual negotiation when it comes to monster cock.

      I mean sometimes you just have to be honest with the guy: I do not know if I can but I am certainly going to try. LUBE UP!

  4. G says:

    I want my shit wrecked…. Never thought I would say that.

    • Pyx says:

      Yeah thanks to Kdaddy it now comes up more often than I like, the sentiment/words, not the getting my shit wrecked – I have always been lucky in that regard.

  5. The Hook says:

    I honestly don’t know what to say…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s