Sexual Habitual

Pyx Picture

Pyx Picture

I personally believe if you do not use it you lose it – I am not saying sexual desire or performance is diminished by the lack of options but certainly the prospect of the work that goes into having it can become a factor. A week without sex can turn into three and then months and I often explain that the fact I have sex often is a contributing factor to my want of it; because I am always using it (having it) I am always up for more.

A healthy sexuality is important, sex is on my top ten list but not on my top five; clean water, clean air, food that will not kill me are priorities. Sex however is important enough that it plays a big part in an intimate relationship so managing two sexual relationships does take some work.

PC and I went south for our second anniversary. I once again had great intention of dressing up in something playful. I had packed, heels, stockings, garter belt and corset along with the other option of something a bit more tame. We had a great time being out together and made our way to a famous Bourbon Whiskey bar; it only took me one glass of a nice vintage to ask him to take me back to our hotel room where I would give him the option of what I put on. The heels and everything stayed packed instead he chose to roll around naked on the massive bed.

Our room was on the 18th floor and I was awfully tempted to have him fuck me up against the massive window overlooking the downtown streets but instead I let him have his way with something far more tender and less kinky; I do not so much mind being made love too but the window did seem a good waste of opportunity.

I left all the lights on so he would not miss seeing a thing.

I took his cock in my hands and in my mouth and made no excuse taking my time with it. I love the moaning and grunting sounds he makes. I enjoy it very much when he talks to me as I do because it just encourages me more. And for a girl that has an easy gag reflex every time I get to worship his above average cock I get a bit better at taking it all in my mouth.

I slide my way above him and watched his face as I lowered myself down on him, he looked very content and as I always do I smiled back. We took turns on top, not saying much to each other but instead I let my hips match each thrust of his. He held my hands in his and I kept my lips on his as to not bother the neighbours with my less than silent orgasms.

I left him sleeping in a giant wet spot on his side of the bed. At some point in the night it must have gotten cold, the wet spot not temperature, because I woke up yet again to his long limbs wrapped around me – I am doing better with the snuggling stuff but it does require I work at it.

Some weeks had passed when PC came over to talk – the relationship stuff I am not good with – and try as I might logic has no place with the emotional stuff. I do not fault him for having feelings, he is far more ‘in touch’ with his than I am with mine but clearly there are several different kinds of sex we have:

I do not like to argue, I do not like conflict in my life – so make up sex is rare but I find make up sex can be the way two people come to resolution where no one really has the last word but instead sexual release being the last word to end conflict by both partners.

After a near death experience there is the ‘I am alive’ sex – this sex I understand completely, it can often lack any emotional attachment or be with a perfect stranger because what do the living do the dead cannot? They fuck.

Making ‘love’ as people like to call it – not something I am into really, it borders on the creepy for me, having someone look at me so intently with love as I get off. A smile of pleasure can feel out of place and so does any sort of conversation, I mean what does one say when they are being made love too?

After a talk about feelings and the like, the sex is more like affirmation of one’s roll and place in someone’s life. After PC was done talking I simply took his hand in mine, brought him to my bed and carefully undressed him. When it comes to feelings I never know what to do because I certainly want them to feel better but I sometimes believe I can do that without uttering a word. Do they want me to just hug them, when my hugs are sportsman like: arms around shoulders with a pat on the back. Are they done talking or do they have more to say?

He took my leg and rested it on his shoulder as he kissed his way down between my legs. I was grateful his mouth was full of wet cotton underpants and the talking was over. His finger slipped under the material and I placed both my hands on either side of his head forcing him down harder against my body. In no time he undressed me and as he knelt there on the bed I took another opportunity to have him in my mouth. He teased me a while before entering me – I love it when guys rest their hardon over my clit and just play around with it.

I came a few times on my back before he had me on my side, all of which was nice as he nibbled on my shoulders and his hands touched my back and then held firmly on to my hip. I had not said a word, I didn’t need too, I was clearly receiving an apology of some sort. I turned myself over on to my stomach and encouraged him to a bit more vigorous with his apology till he left my thighs wet.

Yeah, this emotional fucking is going to take some getting used too.

 

 

 

 

26 comments on “Sexual Habitual

  1. 'Tis says:

    This is interesting to me. I have to say that for me, I want the emotional connection but it totally fucks with the fantasies I have about having random hook-ups. I don’t know if I’d be able to follow through and have sex with someone at say a swingers party that I just met even though the idea of it turns me on. Of course being on the ground floor of learning my sexual identity leaves a lot of room for growth. 🙂

    • Pyx says:

      I certainly do not fault anyone for wanting that emotional attachment- it does actually create a different kind of sex but I am going to tell you the truth: fucking a stranger is great! I mean you get home, you survived, he doesn’t have your real name or number and it is over with. Done. No one needs to know.

      You just got laid and made some guy’s night not to mention your own. You then realize that it was not such a big deal after all because the more comfortable we become with our sexuality as women, the more confidence we acquire through practice NOT fantasy, we realize that sex is in fact an enjoyable endeavour all to itself and that ‘making love’ is different and the person we love is held above all other.

      Women often cannot begin to comprehend why a man can screw something he does love – and I am here to say that there are women that do the very same thing and it is not for everyone but it is not a bad thing either.
      I like reading about your sexual progress… polka dots.

      • 'Tis says:

        This is an interesting perspective and it does confirm for me the idea that I’d hold my husband in greater reverence over a random fuck. No different than how a man wants to claim his woman after another man’s had her.

        I’ll admit that for many years I confused sex and love as having to be synonymous with one another and I think it’s because of that so many woman can’t understand why others can have sex without love. But several years ago, when I started admitting to myself that I wanted more I knew all the crap I’d fed myself was just that, crap!

        I’m enjoying my sexual progress/revolution as well. I think even more so because B is on board too. 🙂

        You had me laughing with, polka dots. All I could think of was polka dots and trips on rocks sounds like some crazy Ben and Jerry’s concoction of ice cream. Maybe with confetti candy and pop rocks mixed in. lol Than I thought, NO! It’s clearly the name of a punk band. haha

      • kdaddy23 says:

        I know I was taught that sex should never happen without love, something I think we’re all told and made to believe… until we find out that we can have sex without love and,sometimes, it’s better than having sex when you’re in love. Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for being in love and having sex… with the person I love and anyone who says yes. Love and sex might work well together but, as I’m prone to saying, they aren’t always mutually inclusive…

        I’d have sex with Pyx if she didn’t scare the bejeezus out of me and eat me alive…

      • 'Tis says:

        Haha!!! You made me laugh. You know whether she scared you or not you’d still have sex with her. lol

        Kind of a bummer it’s taken me so many years to realize you don’t need one for the other. At the same time though I don’t think I was emotionally mature enough back then to handle it. I’ve learned everything happens when it’s supposed too. 🙂

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Yeah, I would still have sex with her despite that… or because of that; we must strive to conquer that which makes us afraid, right? And it does take some doing to get one’s head around the fact that love and sex are not truly related – they just play well together but,sadly, some people never figure it out or cannot believe this to be true… because we were all told that this is the way it’s supposed to be – always.

      • 'Tis says:

        most definitely have to conquer the fears. 🙂

        I think most people know it to be true, they just don’t want to accept it because like you said it goes against everything they’ve been taught. I was that person for many years.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        So was I but I learned otherwise in the school of hard knocks and broken hearts; I learned that if I relied on love alone for good sex, I would be waiting for it for a long time. Good sex is where you find it and if love is there, fine; if not, okay, that works, too. You just gotta take off the rose-colored glasses when you get naked and just fuck like you mean it each and every time, with or without love.

        One life, one chance to get your freak on while you can actually do it; you wait for love to always define this, well, that’s an idea – but the sex is damned real.

        And I’d have to do a pre-emptive strike on Pyx (look at me talking like she can’t read this) and get her before she gets me!

      • 'Tis says:

        I suppose I’ve been very lucky in the sense that the sex I’ve had with my husband of over 20 years has been good. I mean we’ve had out slumps through the years, but they’ve been few and far between.

        That being said, we’ve both discovered that being with others has really turned everything up a notch or ten! lol

        I’d have to agree, life is too short not to be living it. I just love more than anything we’ve been able to do this together and it hasn’t hurt or jeopardized our relationship with one another.

        HaHa!!! Grabbing popcorn! I want to see this! 🙂

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Good thing my insurance is paid up…

      • 'Tis says:

        Hahaha!

      • kdaddy23 says:

        What’s really scaring me now is that Pyx hasn’t said a single word – yet.

      • 'Tis says:

        I think she’s letting you ride out the fear… lol

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Perhaps… Or she’s too busy laughing to say anything.

      • 'Tis says:

        Maybe both. 🙂

      • Pyx says:

        Or gathering information/plotting….

      • 'Tis says:

        I’ve always suspected maybe you were a spy in a previous life. 🙂

  2. kdaddy23 says:

    Trips On Rocks, I would have thought you knew or had learned that there’s nothing logical about emotions or emotional sex: It just is. It’s a reflection of something other than lust and you sound like some guys I know when it comes to being able to have mad crazy sex – but are lost if it all gets emotional. You’re pretty strange; most women I know won’t fuck without the emotional connection and, no, lust alone doesn’t count…

    You’re bold enough to want to be fucked up against a window for all to see… but can’t get your head around cuddling? And why did you make the man sleep in the wet spot?

    • Pyx says:

      I figure things out and then I am surprised all over again. I love my life, I love the people in and I love that there are still things out there that fascinate me – emotions in others being one. I know I am going to have my way with a guy; he will survive relatively unscathed and go on his way. Emotions seem far more risky, dangerous even, and I do not set out with the intentions of messing with those.

      Fuck a guy for a few hours. Great!
      Talk about feelings for twenty minutes. I am looking for the window.

      Emotional talks make me nervous because people are talking about what they are ‘feeling’ not what they want me to do about it. I am always waiting for some directive and it really never comes, worse is when they look at you for some sort of understanding/agreement.

      Cuddling makes my body tense up, I get nervous about moving and then my body feels like it has to move and then I have to go pee but I don’t want to go pee because he is snoring into the back of my neck and I would hate to wake him up… oh god now the back of my neck is hot … just describing has me tense.

      I am an equal opportunity wet spot sleeper – why does it always have to be me?! Maybe next time he will take my suggestion about standing up against the window and not have to sleep in a wet spot *wink

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Do? All you have to do is listen; most of the time no action is required except accepting that they feel the way they do. You only get the directive if they need or want you to do something.

      • Pyx says:

        If they dont want me to do something why are they telling me all this stuff?

        what if I do not accept what they are saying and it is total and complete bullshit? Or they use tears to manipulate me so that I DONT say what it is on my mind?

        I’m not buying it, I think all that talking has expectations, because sometimes when you do not do something it leads to another talk… they just dont know what they want me to do about it.

        okay that totally sounded like a dude… woah I have got to get a vasectomy or something

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Yeah, you sounded just like a dude; if nothing else, you know how we feel at times when a woman gets all emotional on us, huh? There’s this instinctual need to fix something, like what they’re telling us is a problem that needs to be corrected… but women often tell us that all we have to do is listen and that if they need us to do something, they’ll let us know.

        Guys aren’t all that different; we’ve been known to want to express our emotions vocally and without having to take out our dick and insert it into you… and all we want is for you to listen.

        You accept what they’re saying because it’s how THEY feel; whether you agree with it or not is up to you, just like it’s up to you how you handle the situation. Talking does have an expectation or two: You listening and understanding what’s being said and why.

        And if women ever wonder why men are the way they are about this, all they have to do is read what you had to say about it – you covered it nicely for someone who, I believe, isn’t male in anyway… except maybe the way you think.

        You never, ever, cease to amaze me, Pyx…

      • Pyx says:

        I was born with a vagina and it has been verified by upstanding penis wielding members of society (and a few women too) but I do try to listen, I mean I sit through people talking all the time.

        I hear what they are saying, I do but I just tend to think logistically sometimes: so now what?

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Understand that everything doesn’t involve logic. I think like that – years of being a computer geek will do that to you – but even I know not to invoke logic when someone’s pouring their heart out for some reason. Yes, what’s being said has to be processed but I’m doing two things: Looking to see if there’s something that has to be fixed and listening to what they’re saying, formulating questions, gather up answers if they’re needed… but I’m listening and my “urge” to fix things is on stand-by…just in case I do have to fix something.

        Whether I agree with it or not doesn’t matter; whether I have something to say doesn’t – and because if I’m not listening – and doing it carefully, what am I doing? Yeah, there are some times when I will listen just long enough to determine if this is a complaint or whatever and I’ll even tune it out if it smells like bullshit… but when I know it’s something serious, I will listen and if it’s emotional, well, there’s nothing logic can do with this.

        See, if we were ever to hook up (and that’s not likely ’cause you scare me) I would talk to you a lot about how to listen to what I’m trying to say to you, especially if I’m expressing affection – not love, mind you – but just how I feel about you. What does Pyx have to do? Nothing but listen and put her two cents in if it’s called for. If the role was reversed and you were telling me how you felt, wouldn’t you expect me to listen… or would it make you feel good knowing that I’m just sitting there looking at you like you’ve lost your mind or that I have no interest in what you’re saying?

        Holla…

  3. blogermall says:

    The emotional connection can interfere with fantasies of anonymous sex, but we are monogamous to a fault. I do objectify my partner at times to add a little spice to the mix. Standing outside myself, outside our 23/7 existence, and treating her like a total object of lust intensifies the experience for both of us without the complications of bringing another organism (and whatever organisms he/she might bring along) into the relationship. We dress up, become other people out on a date, I buy her a steak and fuck her light I bought her, and we’re happy.

  4. The Hook says:

    Emotion muddies everything up, it’s true, but it takes everything to the next level and that ain’t bad at all.

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