After Thursday and Friday came Saturday and I accepted an invitation to spend the night with D’girl; I am going to tell you upfront I had not met her in the flesh before, she messaged me on a swingers site and we had been chatting for a couple of weeks. When she first messaged me she was in the throes of ovulation and feeling courageous enough to do so but admitted she had an older man/couple fetish. I happen to know two older men… she is late 20’s. Nothing ever came of that meeting – I have some rather concrete evidence and theories about the female cycle and it’s impact on sexual risks: including the use of the internet during this time even if only making a profile/advert to talk about a particular fantasy.
I have shit dick all in common with most women let alone a twenty something year old woman. I have no business being around someone’s daughter that could possibly pass as my own (no I am not that old but I certainly feel it when around people of a particular age) however life dictates experiences and that goes beyond birthdays and our conversations were always interesting enough. So why not right?
I do possess qualities that can appreciate a sexual being for being just that and make no apologies that some people in some sexual contexts are sexual toys; I know you might not like it but it is my truth. I also firmly believe that women should support other women sexually, even if we go about things differently, but in a personal active role; my showing up was because she invited me regardless of the sexual component to our chats. It was not about having sex with each other as much as it was about being two women who were cool with each others sexuality.
I wish I could tell you that we had a lot to drink, got silly and made a cake at 4am and had a food fight then had to clean ourselves off with a shower together, to conserve water usage because we are environmentalists like that, and it lead to the application of strawberry body lotion being applied generously all over our naked bodies of which we then spent the next hour carefully licking it off one another.
Yeah, so not going to happen.
She did have too much to drink to fast and got sick. I stopped drinking.
I did bake her a cake at 4 am and made some food to help soak up the booze.
However there was the realistic situation that if something were to happen I would have been taking advantage. I don’t want to be with someone, female or male, that has to get drunk or high to let loose, it doesn’t make me feel confident in their abilities to handle the morning after.
Now I can drink a Marine under the table perhaps that is because of my French cultural upbringing, from a young age being around alcohol and perhaps cultivating a tolerance, but truly it is knowing my limits of what I can and cannot handle. It is a turn off to me to be with someone that cannot abide their own body regulations – I am all for getting tipsy, hey have fun, go for it but to the point of vomit and having to sleep some of it off in the first hour on a fist date makes for questionable second date. I do not want to be someone’s mom. I will hold back your hair and get you some water don’t get me wrong but the whole event took an odd turn: I was feeling the adult.
We slept comfortably side by side in her bed and I took my leave in the morning without so much as having laid a finger on her. I had also resolved there is no way either of my guys are going to touch her either and I will explain why.
Should she be sober and of sound mind I could perhaps entertain the idea of allowing the guys to have their way with her and she them but under no certain terms, though some people might find me of questionable morality and ethics, would I put two men that I love in a situation that could backfire. I do not want them to take advantage of a woman, not saying that men do, but I certainly do not want them or her having regrets the next day.
There is a period of time where a person is the sex toy and it feels okay to shout ‘game on’ and whatever happens happens but then a line quickly appears, the more you know, where they take on a very human form and whatever happens is now more of a consequence than potential fun outcome.
For all the pleasures and freedoms that come with being an adult, and in my particular situation and relationships, there are as many instances where that adulthood, experience, and knowing better must come before anything else: including before sex.