I am listening to CBC Radio One while I have my morning coffee and contemplate my next sexual move.
See you have couples that agree to do a lot of things together, including involving other people in their sex lives, be it an open agreement, threesomes, or couples swapping but what we rarely talk about is who goes first.
I have a rule that has always worked for me – if you want two pussies then I get two cocks. This pretty much cuts off any dude at the knee that believes he is entitled to having two girls at once but he does not want another man touching his woman. Even in the sexual three ring circus that I run this double standard does exist and I hate it.
Getting two pussies to like each other enough to share a cock is a whole other set of problems including a long list of negotiations but since it is more complicated to find than an extra stunt cock, because as my husband says he has no problems finding willing guys to fuck his wife, I usually put the MFF up first.
Meeting another couple is relatively egalitarian in that you are together but even then there are times when one person from the duo has to touch or let themselves be touched by someone other than their partner first. That first touch either gets things moving along or slaps you back into a reality you were not expecting so we really have to consider how important the first move is.
Then you have couples that might find themselves in a situation similar to me: husband and wife separated by distance with a greater understanding of each other sexually so the option of fucking someone else is there.
Here is the catch – who goes first.
I bet you my left tit no guy out there that has this option is going to go first, unless he already had a side piece when his wife was home, my gut says it is just a recipe for tears.
So what do you do – wait? Sure there is a holding pattern to all of this; I personally have never needed to be under a man to feel sexual or a complete woman so the fact I have not gone out and done so is no big surprise. I would rather have no sex than put myself in a situation that could blow up and leave me with relationship shrapnel. It has been two months since I’ve had sex and I have not gone postal. Yet.
I do of course miss my partner overall and that comes with a bit of sleep mode for Lily, yes my pussy has a name, it is a strange sort of honour that I expect no one other than my husband to understand.
My husband? Oh he is verbally encouraging that I go aboot the frosted lands of the North and leave a trail of sexually depleted males behind me but being the brilliant person I am I do wonder if this encouragement is what it seems. Meaning I think his words are saying he is okay with it because he has dealt with it when I was in house but my gut instinct says I would be chipping a bit off his coal heart.
Couples that have separate but open sexual arrangements come back together and solidify their bond by being sexual with one another. The distance denies him and me the opportunity to do that after the fact. That intimacy that we have before or after I am with someone else would this time go without physical reassurance, without a voice, a look, and making commitment and love much more difficult to express. Yes I said commitment while discussing sleeping with other people – we do not confuse the act of sex with other people for something it is not but that is us. What I am talking about here is all that relationship stuff after the sex is done… another one of my weaknesses as I am not good at it.
Would he go first? I don’t know. He was not into fucking anything else while I was there and this does tip the scales a bit, if he had would I be more willing to make the first move? Perhaps I would feel more confident in doing so.
How would I feel if he went first? Well I would be surprised because, as I said, he did not fuck anything else while I was there. He is desirable, and an amazing lover but he is also a monogamist to the bone: he marries what he fucks. But I am married to him so strangely for him I think my not being physically there might translate into cheating, in his mind, not mine.
I honestly think he is more likely to call a service and order a woman like a pizza than he is to go out on a site or someplace to meet a woman for a mutually agreed upon sexual encounter. The idea of hookers in Indiana is a bit unsettling for me as I have seen what is for sale but I trust him to keep it wrapped and we all know he doesn’t kiss them on the mouth. The nice thing about hookers is you are paying them to not call back or show up after the deal is done and for him I can see that as a benefit.
If I were to think about turning the weak into something brilliant, I would have to admit that sexually this distance is the weakness. A million potential outcomes can turn this weakness into a variable for debilitation. Yeah achieving brilliance is not easy and I like a challenge; giving myself an opportunity to excel but how do I go about it in this particular situation?
To be continued…