Out on the ice

Pyx Picture 2015

So are you still polyamorous even though you do not have a lover?

Right now I am not even having sex with my husband let alone a lover but yes I am.

I guess it would be like asking a heterosexual being if they are still ‘straight’ though they are single.

Perhaps more like asking a bisexual person if they are still bisexual while dating one of the sexes.

I have always paid close attention to my physical and mental needs and right now my body, including my sexuality, is calm and at peace. I do not feel any pressure from either spectrum to run out and find a mate.  I see most of them as potential drama, work and that is something I have never been interested in.

Someone asked me if I had made any new year’s resolutions to which I replied ‘I can make them and break them all year long. No.’  I am turning 40 this year and if I have not learned the most important of the valuable lessons in life there is no chance of me changing it now. I honestly surprise myself at how positive I can be – more so than the people around me – given that I am a rather jaded fuck.

I firmly believe that endings are just as important as beginnings. The last thing you say to someone on the phone, in an email or walking out the door could be the last things they ever hear so why make it a bad one. When love is still present but the body is not, words seem to take on an even greater weight and more so when we consider their potential impact on someone far away, sometimes all they need is to read that they matter and are loved. Ending any relationship is filled with emotions but to consider the feelings of that other person while you are leaving can make a huge difference in their long term life experiences.

I was always far better with endings than I was beginnings and I always strive to not be someone’s bad experience.

So instead of being all ‘yay it’s a new year’ I am choosing to be thankful the last one is over and to not repeat much of it.

 

 

 

2 comments on “Out on the ice

  1. 'Tis says:

    my sincerest condolences for your loss and cheers to better days ahead. xo

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